A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan
by ruinedbyrob
Summary: A lot can happen in a year. The Earth makes its way around the sun. A new life can be conceived and born. People get married, divorced and an uptight HOA president can loosen up and have a little fun. However, she can't do it by herself. The Forks Valley HOA crew is back and they've got one heck of a year planned! This is a continuation of Forks Valley HOA.
1. Chapter-August

**Hellooooo** lovely people! This is my contribution to the Babies at the Border compilation and is a continuation of the one shot, Forks Valley HOA. The original one-shot can be found under my profile. In the original one shot, Bella is an uptight, strictly by the rules, pearls wearing and golf cart riding president of her HOA. She meets a laid-back Edward and the sparks fly. This takes up right where that one lets up. To understand the dynamics of the group, I would suggest you read the original first.

I could not let these two go and when the opportunity came up to write for this very important event, I knew I wanted to continue their story. These are short chapters and I will update once or twice a week. I don't have a set day to update. It will depend on RL's bullcrap.

I want to acknowledge two people that took time out of their lives to help me with this project. The awesome banner was done by twi2escape (her first one!) and Edwardsfirstkiss lent her awesome beta skills.

Also, a **HUGE **thanks to all of the people who donated to this cause. Especially Jennie Boom and Consuelo Hernandez for putting the compilation together.

**Disclaimer:** As always, SM owns the original, but this neighborhood of nutballs, is all mine. 

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan.**

**August**

_Previously: July 4__th__._

_Edward smiled and cupped her chin, tilting her head back so he could look her deep in the eyes. "Cookie, if you want to see my tattoo, you're going to have to invite me inside. Not even a rule flaunter like me would have the guts to get naked in a nice friendly neighborhood like this. Are you ready to break some rules?" _

_Bella's eyes widened for a heartbeat before grabbing his hand and dragging him inside her house. _

_The next morning Bella's garbage container sat in its usual place waiting for its Monday pick up. Nothing out of the normal except the large binder thrown haphazardly to the side of the dumpster that read; Forks Valley HOA Official Rules._

_**August- Edward and Bella have been dating since the previous Fourth of July. So, about a month.**_

"No _Sugarlips_, I'll do it, you did it last time."

"I don't mind _Cupcake_."

"I know you don't, _Sweetums_ and that's one of the many reasons I love you."

"I love yu-"

"-For the love of God, just give it to me and I'll do it!" Bella, interrupted, grabbing the stack of plates out of Rose's hands, ignored the look of absolute surprise on her friend's face and headed towards the kitchen.

"You be quiet!" She ordered the snickering Edward, as she walked past him into the house. Still laughing, Edward grabbed a few plates and dutifully followed his girl into the house.

"You see? That's why I don't like nicknames. It may start out cute but it always ends up in a disgusting barrage of vomit inducing- "Edward silenced Bella in mid-tirade with a toe-curling kiss.

"-But I like calling you _Cookie._" Edward crooned into Bella's neck. He tightened his hold on her as she predictably began to succumb to his talented tongue, momentarily losing the use of her legs.

"Ugh, what are you doing to me?" She breathed heavily, leaning her neck to the right hoping he would continue his explorations.

He did.

"Bella, sorry that got out of han-what the hell is going on in here? Em, get in here!"

Bella squeaked and tried to pull away from Edward at Rose's loud interruption but Edward held her tighter in his arms. Bella was always worried about other's seeing their PDA, but he was an affectionate guy and she needed to get used to it. Besides, it was Rose's kitchen, not the middle of the town square.

"Babe? What's wrong?" Alarmed, Emmett rushed into the kitchen with Alice and Jasper on his tail.

"I just caught little _Miss Snobby Buttons_, about to mount Edward on my counter!" Rose explained, waving an accusing hand towards the still embracing couple.

"Way to go, man!" Emmett high fived Edward, who managed to extract his hand from the red-faced woman clinging to his chest. "Way to go, Bella!" Emmett's offered palm was rejected by the now glaring Bella.

"Seriously? You're giving them high fives?" Rose asked, with her hands firmly planted on her hips.

"Babe, anytime Bella loosens up is a cause for celebration." Emmett cajoled, tugging the now grinning Rose closer.

"You're right." Rose agreed, lacing her hands behind Emmett's thick neck. "Go ahead you too."

"Soooo," Alice slowly drawled, eyeing the two couples. "If it's okay for Bella and Edward to screw on the kitchen counters, does that mean that perhaps a little skinny dip in your hot tub would be okay?"

"You skinny dipped in my _brand new_ hot tub?" Rose accused loudly in disbelief.

"What? No! I was just wondering if such a thing would be okay." Alice looked to Jasper for help, only to find him nodding at Rose and laughing.

"Alice!" Rose yelled as Alice hightailed it out of the room with the tall blonde on her heels.

"Dude, did you?" Emmett's nose wrinkled in mild disgust.

Jasper just smiled widely, not attempting to hide his and Alice's misdeed.

"Damn. I wanted Rose and me to christen the new tub, but that deserves a bump." Emmett's meaty paw shot forth for a fist bump.

Bella untangled herself from Edward's embrace and scoffed at the three men as they congratulated each other on their sexual escapades. "You three are gross." She commented over her shoulder in an indignant huff as she left in search of Rose and Alice.

"Little B, is still wound a bit tightly. You need to get on that, bro."

"First, I am _on_ that, _bro_," Edward said, with a self-satisfied smirk. "Secondly, she's been wound tight for a while, I can't unspool all of that in a month. I have to slowly peel through her layers. This HOA stuff is a constant crap storm."

"Layers? Like an onion?"

"Yeah, _Shrek_, like an onion." Edward and Jasper laughed.

"I think you're wrong. I think B, just needs to rip off those pearls and live life. And I'm going to help her."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Be my guest. Just don't come crying to me when shit inevitably goes sideways."

"Emmett, I appreciate your offer but I just don't think I need an assistant." Bella said, as she rushed around her basement rec room making sure all of the chairs lined up correctly.

Emmett leaned against the wall watching his friend amusingly as she moved chairs by fractional increments so they lined up perfectly. "B, if anyone needs help, it's you. Besides, now that I'm a part of this community I should see what this HOA stuff is all about." Emmett had moved in with Rose a scant three weeks after they began dating. Jasper followed suit, moving in with Alice only two days after Emmett. Bella thought they'd made big mistakes by moving so quickly. She preferred to build her relationship a bit slower. Edward still lived in his home, spending a night or two a week at Bella's house.

"I guess."

"Great! I'll be a big help. Think of me as a Vice President."

"Um, I don't think-"

"-Okay, fine. More like an assistant to the president?" Emmett asked with a dimpled smile.

Bella sighed. She was a sucker for his dimples. In addition, having an assistant could give her more time to concentrate on her efforts to have a life outside of the HOA, and by default free up some time for her handsome boyfriend.

"Okay, you can be my _assistant_. BUT you have to follow my lead. These people can be pretty demanding." Emmett laughed at her comment. So far, the most demanding person he'd encountered was standing before him in a green polo and a pearl choker.

"Deal." He offered up his hand to seal their deal.

Bella laughed as he ignored her hand to pull her into a patented Emmett bear hug.

"This is going to be great. You just wait and see." No sooner had Emmett made his promise when the first home owners descended.

"There is no rule that says you can't have a child's wading pool in the yard!" Peter Brewer from 1711 Hemingway, complained.

"No, but there is a rule about ADULTS using the pool as a beer cooler." Chelsea Huffman, Peter's neighbor from across the street retorted. The meeting had only been open for 20 minutes and had rapidly deteriorated into a cacophony of loud and irritated voices.

"What do you people have against adults relaxing with a few alcoholic beverages? The last time I looked, prohibition had ended in 1933!"

"I have nothing against alcohol! But I have everything against watching a bunch of drunk idiots parading around spouting profanity and making lewd gestures. I have children!" Chelsea's face was red with anger.

"Your _children_ are in high school! You're just a bitter, lonely, old wo-"

Bella stepped in, stopping Peter's comment, knowing it would only increase the tension.

"That's enough! Chelsea, I didn't see anyone do anything I would consider lewd." Chelsea crossed her arms and huffed in Bella's direction as Peter smirked behind her.

"And you," Bella said turning to speak to Peter. "The next time you have friends over, keep your beer in coolers."

"Whatever!" Peter retorted, flopping back into his seat. Bella glanced over to see Emmett smiling and flashing her two thumbs up. She shook her head and continued with the meeting.

One hour later, she'd stopped two other skirmishes amongst the neighbors, reminded Mr. Bauer that it was _still_ against the rules to mow a yard without a shirt on, set a date for the HOA Presidential election for next May, and had somehow, she still wasn't sure how, agreed to allow Emmett to start a neighborhood Facebook group.

"You'll see B, the FB group is going to bring the neighborhood together." Bella rubbed her temples, hoping to lessen the throbbing that the last hour and a half had caused.

"I hope so Em, I hope so." Bella said warily.

Emmett smiles widely, patting Bella on the back. "Seriously, what could go wrong?"

_**FORKS VALLEY HOA FB GROUP:**_

_**EMc2-**__Welcome to the Forks Valley HOA FB page! I'm Emmett McCarty, the new Vice President of the HOA. I'll post announcements and news that affect the neighborhood. I want this to be a place where we all can share ideas to make our awesome community better! So, post away!_

**JaneJackson- **_"Since when do we have a VP? I didn't get to vote!"_

**TheREALJackBauer- **_"And who the hell is Emmett McDonald?"_

**JaneJackson- **_**"**__I just checked and____the HOA rules DO NOT allow for a VP!"_

**CoolGmaCope- **_**" **__Jane Jackson__**-**__Don't get your panties in a twist! 'Dimples' is a welcomed addition to the neighborhood!' _

**JaneJackson**-"_ CoolGmaCope- There are rules!"_

**AWeber**_**—**__"EMc2-Congratulation on your new job."_

**EMc2**\- _"Thank-you Angela!"_

**IsabellaMSwan-** _"Emmett, you're __**not**__ the __Vice President!"_

Annnnnnd, we're off! Buckle up! If you think that this crew is going to have a calm year, remember that we're dealing with Emmett!

Thank you for reading!

ruinedbyrob


	2. Chapter-September

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**September**

**Around Labor Day**

_**FORKS VALLEY HOA FB GROUP:**_

**EMc2**_-"Neighborhood Swingers Party, September 10__th__ at Rose and my house, 1106 Poe. *whoop, whoop, cohabitation with my girl! * Show up around 7 and be ready to mingle!_

**MNewton**_-"Is this for real?"_

**EMc2**_-"You know it! See you there?"_

**MNewton**_-"Um, maybe?"_

**JessStanley**-_"I'll show mine if you show yours. _😉"

**MNewton**-"_I'm coming!"_

**JessStanley**-_"Hopefully, me too. LOL"_

**RosalieHale**-_" __**SINGLES**__ party NOT __**SWINGERS**__ party!_

**CoolGmaCope-** _"Nuts!"_

"Honestly, it was only a matter of time." Rose commented, patting Bella on the back. "Jane has wanted to rule the neighborhood since her and that creepy husband of hers moved in three years ago."

"Oh, he's so creepy! He just stands behind her with that weird expression on his blank face." Alice interjected, placing a plate of cut fruit on the buffet table.

"Right? And they don't act like a real couple."

"I know! No PDA, no endearments-I bet it's like kissing his sister." Rose and Alice both grimaced at the thought.

"Guys, can we focus on the fact that Jane Jackson has decided to run a smear campaign against me for the HOA Presidency."

"Overreact much?" Alice giggled at the angry face Bella made at Rose's sarcastic comment.

"Whoa, what's with the lemon face?" Bella glared at Emmett.

"This is your fault?" She accused, stabbing a finger into his muscular chest.

Ever since Emmett had started the neighborhood Facebook group, Bella had been putting out fires he'd been unintentionally starting. And Jane Jackson had honed in on each misunderstanding, making sure to post comments that only reignited whatever fire Bella had just managed to put out.

This week it had been a misunderstanding about the party they were currently setting up. Emmett had blamed autocorrect for the error, but it didn't matter how 'Singles' got replaced by 'Swingers', the mistake had set off a firestorm within their community and Jane Jackson was pouring gas on the flames.

"I said I was sorry." Bella hardened her heart as he flashed his dimples at her.

Bella swallowed her retort as the doorbell rang. Emmett squealed in excitement as he ran off to greet his first guests.

"So, Swan, looks like you'll have a little competition this year. You up for it?" Bella kept her public smile in place as Jim Banner sloshed his bourbon and seven onto Rose's immaculate deck.

"Of course. Anyone in the community is welcomed to run." Jim scoffed at her statement, clearly not believing she was okay with having competition for the position.

As the party continued, Bella walked around making small talk with her neighbors. Even though the party had been originally meant to be a singles party, because of the misunderstanding, they'd decided to rebrand the whole thing as just a community mixer. However, that didn't stop a few of the residents from still attempting to 'swing'.

"Mrs. Cope, please stop trying to give me your keys!" Jasper pleaded, rushing past the elderly woman that was intent on being his partner for the night.

"Call me Shelley, Blondie." Jasper cringed as she jingled her keys in front of his face with a lewd wink.

"Where's Dr. _Green-eyes_ tonight?" Tanya Denali inquired over the rim of her third mango margarita. Bella usually loved talking about her handsome boyfriend, but she'd rapidly become tired of having to mark her territory to all of the single neighborhood women.

"He's working, but he should be here later."

"Sweeeet." Tanya slurred. Bella watched as she walked away to go stand with the equally inebriated, Lauren Mallory.

Bella had just dodged another offer for dinner from Felix Brannon, the attractive architect that recently moved into 1812 Cussler Court, when her newest nemesis appeared in front of her.

"Hello, Bella." Every time Jane said her name, it reminded Bella of the way Jerry Seinfeld used to greet his cantankerous and troublesome neighbor, Newman.

"Jane, are you enjoying yourself?" Bella forced herself to be polite.

"Not as much as Shelley Cope." Bella followed Jane's line of vision to where Jasper was dodging an attempted butt grab from the older woman. "Of course, can you blame her after your _Vice President, _made that error?" Bella took a deep breath and fingered the pearls around her neck, using the familiar action to cool her temper.

"That was a regrettable error that was immediately rectified by my volunteer _assistant_."

"Hmm, still it shouldn't have happened, and it has obviously caused a bit of an uproar amongst the neighbors."

"There's no uproar. I think we were able to turn a mistake into a pleasant opportunity to get everyone together."

"Oh really? I've heard several of the older neighbors' comment that this never would have happened under your grandmother's watch. And I can tell you for certain it wouldn't have happened had _I_ been the HOA President." Jane smiled darkly before turning away to melt into the crowd of seemingly happy party goers.

Bella's temper flared. "I'm not my grandmother. And I guess you'll get your chance to see if you can do a better job after the elections in May."

"I guess we will. And since you have eight more months to screw things up, I should be a shoe-in." Bella's fake smile faltered as Jane bounced away. Jane's statement had managed to poke holes in Bella's recent personal and management change. With Edward's help, she'd started to see that perhaps she'd been running the HOA a bit like a kingdom, with her reigning as the resident monarch. She'd been so focused on living up to her grandmother's legacy that she'd ruled with an iron fist, seeing no shades of gray. She'd loosened up and look what it had gotten her. A serious contender for her job, and apparently neighbors that thought she'd let her grandmother down.

"Why the long face, beautiful?" Bella breathed out in relief as the image of Edward, still in his scrubs, moved into her view.

"Please remind me that I would not look good in prison orange." Bella pleaded, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his firm chest. She breathed in his welcoming scent and took comfort in his arms. Edward was both surprised and concerned over her sudden PDA.

He pulled her to him tightly and leaned down to speak into her ear. "I think you'd look sexy in anything. But can I ask why you're worried about prison?"

Bella sighed and pulled back to look up into his concerned green eyes. "Jane, all but told me that I suck as HOA president and that she'd do a better job." She said dejectedly and then adding, "And Tanya and Lauren want to jump your bones." Edward giggled at the very unlike Bella statement.

"Don't laugh. Both comments are true."

"Bella, look around. Everyone is having a great time." Edward pointed out to the yard where Emmett was leading a large group in the bunny hop. Neighbors of all ages were laughing as they clung to each other's waists as they snaked around Rose's back yard doing the popular children's dance. She couldn't help but smile at their antics.

"And the only person who is permitted to jump my bones, is you." Edward punctuated his statement with a deep, toe-curling kiss that left Bella clinging to his blue scrub top.

"Okay." She breathed slowly, when he released her lips.

"But I still want to gouge their eyes out."


	3. Chapter-October

**A/N I LOVE reading all of your thoughts. Keep em' coming!**  
**On with the shenanigans! **

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**October**

**Halloween**

_**FORKS VALLEY HOA FB GROUP:**_

**EMc2-** "Neighborhood Halloween party/haunted house at 2413 Hemingway. Costumes are mandatory! PM me if you want to participate with the haunted house."

**WolfmanJake-** _"How haunted are we talking?"_

**LClearwater**_-" WolfmanJake- OMG. Are you STILL afraid of haunted houses? That was sixth grade. Get over it!" _

**SmanB**_-" Lclearwater- He STILL sleeps with the closet door open."_

**Lclearwater**_**-**__" WolfmanJake- That is pathetic!_

**WolfmanJake**_-" SmanB, Lclearwater- The door won't latch! Leah, shut up! You weren't the one being chased with the chain saw!"_

**Lclearwater**_-" WolfmanJake-It was an orange plastic, kid's toy."_

**WolfmanJake**_\- " Lclearwater- It sounded REAL!"_

**EMc2**_**-**__" WolfmanJake- Don't worry. This will be an event for all ages. No one will be chasing anyone._

**CoolGmaCope-**_" EMc2-Nuts!"_

"Don't you roll your eyes at me! Emmett put me in charge of the costumes and I think I did a damn fine job finding something for everyone." Alice all but patted herself on her back.

"But slutty nurse? Really? First, it's cliché and secondly-well, it's slutty!"

"Would you calm the hell down? It's not that slutty, you're not showing a tenth of the skin Rose and I will in our costumes. Besides, what else would go with Edward's zombie doctor?" Bella groaned and threw the white mini-dress to the ground.

In spite of the ridiculous costume laying at her feet in a heap, Bella had to admit that the event was coming along really well. The Forks Valley HOA Haunted House was nearly completed, thanks to Emmett and Jasper's carpentry skills and of course Edward's three-car garage. Bella had been pleasantly surprised when so many of the neighbors volunteered to help build and work the haunted house. Emmett had found a place for everyone and had planned events for all ages. Bella was very impressed with the job he'd done, the only sore spot, laid at her feet.

"Look, you don't have to put it on now. Put it over there." Alice pointed to a back table where several other costumes awaited their owners. "You can change when Edward gets here."

After shoving the revealing dress into a corner, Bella returned to help put up the finishing touches on the 'house'. Mrs. Cope was dressed as a fortuneteller complete with a crystal ball. Mr. Bauer was setting up a ring toss game and was dressed as Civil War ghost. Chelsea Huffman and Peter Brewer had bonded over the whole wading pool fiasco from August and were manning the apple bobbing station dressed as Raggedy Anne and Andy. The Becks' from 2415 Twain were dressed as characters from the Witches of Eastwick and were running the refreshment table.

Angela Weber and Ben Cheney were working together to keep the creepy music flowing. Bella was surprised to see the reserved Ben dressed as an underling to Angela's female pirate. She remembered them getting very friendly at the neighborhood mixer but didn't realize that they'd become a couple.

"Waddaya think boss?" Emmett was practically beaming as he surveyed the decorated space.

"Everything looks great." Bella answered honestly. "How did you end up as the vampire? I thought for sure you'd pick the quarterback?" Emmett was dressed to the nines in a black suit with a white shirt, black vest and a red pocket square tucked into the pocket. His full-length cape flowed behind him as he moved.

"Rose wanted to be Elvira, how could I say no to that getup?" He pointed to where Rose stood speaking to Jessica Stanley. She was covered head to toe in a form fitting black sheath dress with splits up both sides, showing plenty of leg and of course, lots of cleavage. Bella had to admit it was quite a shock to see her friend's naturally blond locks completely covered in a long black beehive wig. Rose winked at them, before smiling and showing off her fangs.

"Um, Emmett, you're drooling."

"These damn fangs!" Bella had to laugh, as she doubted very much it was the fangs and not the living fantasy his girlfriend was representing ten feet from him.

"Anyway, don't you think you need to get dressed?" She sighed, glancing briefly, where her costume resided along with the others that were yet to be claimed.

"I will, I want to make one more walk around to make sure everything is in place and everyone knows what their job is before we let people in." Emmett's face fell slightly as he watched Bella fret.

He put an arm around her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze. He knew that his goof up for the Singles party had caused his friend a lot of grief and it had given Jane a reason to plant doubt over Bella's ability to run the HOA.

"Everything will be fine. I promise."

The happiness radiating off her neighbors as they made their way around the garage, put a smile on her face as she hurried to retrieve her costume from the corner table.

"Hey Babe. "Edward greeted, as Bella reached the costume table. "Wow! This place looks great."

Bella watched as Edward looked around his heavily decorated garage while she took in the sight before her. She'd seen him in scrubs before and Edward looked mighty damn fine in a pair of scrubs, but for the party, he'd left on his doctor's coat, complete with a stethoscope wound around his neck and tongue depressors sticking out of the chest pocket, right over the stitching that read; _Dr. Edward A. Cullen M.D _ with _Pediatrics_ embroidered underneath.

"I think _you_ look great," she murmured, before grabbing him by his jacket lapels and pressing her lips tightly to his. Surprised but delighted that his normally controlled girlfriend was overcome enough to not only initiate a kiss, but to do it in a garage filled to the brim with their neighbors and friends, Edward, quickly reciprocated her kiss.

Needing air, the couple disengaged their lips but still held on to each other. "Not that I'm complaining, but wow!" Bella blushed at his obvious enjoyment of their lip lock. Wow, was usually her response. She was thrilled that she was able to illicit the same response in him. And the fact that she'd done it without giving a thought to who might see, was a huge step forward for her.

"Well, you were looking pretty kissable right then so…"

"Kissable, huh? Do I also look fu-"Bella slammed her palm over his mouth before he could finish what she was sure wouldn't be a word that should be uttered in their present company. Especially the short blond woman that seemed to watch Bella's every move from her perch in the corner.

Edward laughed and pulled her hand away, but not before placing a kiss on her palm. "If I keep the scrubs and coat on, can we explore this doctor fantasy of yours?" Bella nodded vigorously.

"Hey, Edward, get over here and get your face on!" Emmett boomed from the corner of the garage where Rose and Alice had set up their makeup station.

With a sigh, Edward released Bella and wandered over to get his Zombie doctor makeup applied. Bella promised to join him as soon as she changed.

"Where is it?" Bella muttered for the third time. She'd practically torn the table apart looking for her costume but could only come up with a Ghostbusters jumpsuit, a much too large Chewbacca suit and the twin to the psycho clown costume that Marcus Ornio was wearing.

"No, no, no…" She was losing hope and had just dropped to the ground to search the area beneath the table when a pair of naked, female legs appeared.

"How do I look?" Bella gasped. Before her was Tanya Denali dressed in her slutty nurse's costume.

Bella rushed to her feet. "That's my costume!"

"Oh, really? I found it just laying here on the table. I figured it was up for grabs." Tanya's voice was friendly but the predatory look in her dead zombie eyes was not.

"You know I'm supposed to be the nurse to Edward's doctor. You grabbed my costume on purpose!"

"Seriously, Swan, get over yourself. I saw the costume just sitting here so I put it on."

"Well, now you can take it off." Bella ordered. Tanya's eyes narrowed as the two woman stared at each other in a standoff.

"Okay everyone, take your places, I'm gonna let the public in." Emmett's voice boomed.

"B, why aren't you suited up?" Emmett asked, coming over to stand next to the still fuming women.

"Tanya took my costume and won't take it off." Bella seethed as Tanya smirked.

"It was an accident. Besides there's no time. I'm already made up as the zombie nurse." Tanya's statement of fact came just as the squealing excitement of neighborhood children filled the garage. Emmett surveyed the two women while eyeing the crowd of Disney Princesses', butterflies, cowboys and various video game characters.

Emmett sighed. "B, I don't think there's time for you to change. Could you wear something else?" Bella angrily grabbed the closest bag, not caring what costume it contained. If she wasn't going to be Edward's counterpart, it didn't matter what she ended up wearing. She glanced over to where Edward was greeting their guests, he did a double take when Tanya sidled up to him. Confused, Edward looked across the room and saw Bella. The disappointment and anger she felt over Tanya's actions evident on her face. Bella shook her head sadly and his questioning eyes and went into his house to get changed.

"When she told me that you'd changed your mind about wearing the costume, I didn't think to question her. After what you'd said earlier…"

"It's okay. I don't blame you," Bella said, sadly as Alice helped her with the buttons on the back of her costume. Alice was a tad startled at how easily Bella was taking the costumes change. She was obviously angry at Tanya's deception but the Pre-Edward Bella would have gone on and on about plans being made and wouldn't have just accepted the situation and put on another costume.

"I'm still sorry. I wish I'd poked her in the eye with the eyeliner pencil!" Bella laughed at the image of little Alice stabbing Tanya in the face. "I don't care what the package says, I'm not going to make you a psycho clown." Alice declared, setting about to give Bella a cheerful expression instead of the unsettling creepy leer the package depicted.

A chorus of laughter from young and old filled the garage as they enjoyed the party. Bella had no real skills she could relate to being a clown, so she resigned herself to acting as hostess and helped to keep the refreshment table replenished and the apple bobbing tub full. She did everything she could to avoid where Edward and _Nurse Tanya_ were leading people through the small maze that Emmett had populated with the older kids positioned to hand out small scares.

After about an hour, Bella was just about pat herself on the back at how well everything was going, when Jane, with Alec in tow appeared. Dressed as the characters from American Gothic, those two looked creepier than usual.

"Jane, Alec, are you having a good time?"

"So far. But the night is young." Bella scowled at Jane's not so subtle dig. Choosing to take the high road, Bella smiled and removed herself from temptation. Everything was running smoothly, and she wasn't going to allow Jane's desire to see her fail detract from the night's success.

No sooner had Bella finished congratulating herself on her team's victory, piercing screams erupted from the maze area. The fun scene quickly dissolved into chaos as people rushed out of the maze, filling the garage area with pockets of crying, and sniveling trick-or-treaters.

"What happened?" Bella asked Mrs. King, who was trying to soothe her granddaughters, Emma and Tia. Both girls had tears running down their cheeks as they clung to their grandmother.

"I don't know." Mrs. King replied, shaking her head. Bella saw more people tumble out of the maze. Some of the little ones' were crying into their parent's shoulders as they were carried out of the garage.

"Did you see what happened?" Alice asked, rushing up to the bewildered Bella.

"No, where is- Oh no!" Bella and Alice hurried over to the mouth of the maze where Edward and Emmett were carrying out a white as a ghost, Jake.

"Gently," Edward ordered as he and Emmett set the boy onto the nearest table. A collection of neighbors quickly gathered around to see what was going on.

Bella pushed her way through the crowd to watch Edward lightly feel around Jake's left ankle.

"Ouch!" The boy exclaimed.

"It's just a sprain." Edward explained. "You'll be fine in a couple of days. Go home, elevate your foot and put some ice on it for the swelling. It really doesn't look too bad, but I'd stay off of it for the next 24 hours." Jake nodded as Edward relayed his instructions.

"What happened?" Bella asked, pushing her way to Edward's side. Edward flinched as her rainbow colored wig obscured his right eye.

"You ditched me so you could be a psycho clown?" Edward laughed pushing the wig out of his face.

"Don't get me started!" Bella warned with a glare directed towards Tanya. "Tell me what happened?"

"Okay, well, evidently Jake got scared-"

"-Startled! Not scared!" Jake vehemently defended himself.

"Okay," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "He tripped over a foam headstone, _mildly_ spraining his ankle."

Ignoring the brooding teen, Bella looked over at Emmett. "What startled him? I thought the whole thing was designed to be fun not scary?"

"I wasn't scared!" Jake yelled out.

"Jake, put a cork in it." Emmett ordered, directing his attention back to Bella. "It was, but one of the kids decided to play a joke on Jake."

"Which one?" Emmett pointed to where several of the neighborhood teens were gathered in various costumes. All had been enlisted to help with the maze. One by one, they peeled off until Alex Smiley was left standing alone.

"What? Wait, it wasn't my idea!" Alex grabbed for his older brother's arm, but Max quickly evaded his hand, leaving the younger boy standing alone.

"What are you wearing?" Bella asked the pre-teen dressed as some kind of foliage.

"It's a Ghilley suit." He declared proudly, holding his arms out showing how the camouflage wrapped around his body making him look like a patch of rough grass or brush. "I was a bush by the headstones."

"And you just decided to scar-um, startle Jake." Jake nodded approvingly at Bella's save.

"Well, Leah and Seth thought it would be funny." His big blue eyes darted to where the fingered suspects were attempting to edge out of the garage.

"Hold it!" Emmett exclaimed. "You two get back here." Reluctantly both teens walked over to stand before the adults gathered around the injured, Jake. Both had the good sense to look repentant.

"We thought it would be funny." Leah nudged Seth's arm he nodded in agreement. "We didn't think he'd freak out and trample a bunch of kindergarteners' to get out."

"I didn't freak out"

"Oh, man did you ever." Seth laughed, slapping his older brother on the shoulder.

"No. I-"

"You screamed like a two-year-old!" Leah, exclaimed as she high-fived her accomplice. "All Alex had to do was stand up and you were gone!"

"I wasn't scared!" The teens continued bickering as the adults watched with varying degrees of amusement on their faces.

"Well, another stellar event courtesy of President Swan." Jane said as Alec smirked behind her. Bella was beginning to question whether Alec spoke as she'd only heard his irritating wife do all the talking for the couple.

"Jane, it's not a big deal." Bella tried to play off the accident while inside, her stomach was churning with anxiety.

"Really? You've got at least one child gravely injured and the rest traumatized." She said, waving her hand around, pointing at the few families still in attendance.

"No one is traumatized." Rose scoffed, pointing to the few neighborhood children and their parents still in attendance. Most looked mildly amused, a few looked tired, but no one looked traumatized.

"And Jake's ankle is barely sprained. He's playing it up." Edward explained, thumping Jake's slightly swollen ankle."

"Hey!" Jake exclaimed. "Yeah, it doesn't feel that bad." He recanted after receiving a stern look from Edward.

"Regardless," Jane huffed. "We can't count this as a success can we?"

"It wasn't Bella's fault." Emmett interjected as Bella's face turned red with embarrassment.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is. She's the President. She's in charge. The buck stops with her," Jane said, coldly before turning to leave, with her silent and still creepy husband following behind her.

Everyone watched the pair leave.

"I'm sorry, Miss Swan. I didn't mean to cause you any problems. We just wanted to scare Jake a little."

"That's okay, Alex. It's Halloween after all. What's Halloween without a little bit of a scare?" Alex smiled at her attempt to alleviate his guilt while everyone else observed her behavior with open mouths and astonished eyes. Everyone was stunned to hear Isabella Marie Swan brush off the whole event without a meltdown.

Everyone except Edward. He smiled, putting his arm around her shoulders. He noticed how tense she was and how hard she was trying to hide it from everyone, especially Alex. "Good job, beautiful," he murmured, placing a kiss at her temple. Bella relaxed slightly at his praise. At least he knew how hard she was trying.

The remaining kids and parents gathered their things and left to go home. The fact that most of them made it a point to thank everyone for the party lightened Bella's mood. A little.

Bella and the gang began tearing down and picking up. Leaving the bulk of the maze to tear down the next day, it only took them about forty-five minutes to pick up.

"So, why did I get stuck with Tanya as my nurse?" Edward asked as he and Bella sacked up the aluminum soda cans for recycling.

"She stole my costume." Bella said angrily. "I wanted to be your partner. Not a stupid clown." She shoved several cans into the sack, relishing the crunch they made as they hit the rest of the cans.

"You're my partner in every way that counts." He promised "But I've got to say, I'm glad you didn't choose the clown on purpose. Did I ever tell you about our trip to the circus when I was ten years old?" Bella shook her head. "Well, let's just say, I _was_ scared and I _did_ scream like a two-year-old. I didn't sprain my ankle but there was a massacre that involved a large cherry Slurpee, loaded fries, my mother's favorite cream blouse and a clown. It wasn't pretty." He shuddered as she tried to stifle her giggle.

"Besides, I think you'd make a much prettier nurse and I've always had a thing for a woman in scrubs." Edward's eyebrows lifted suggestively as Bella took in what he'd said.

"Do you have a spare set in the house?" She whispered. Edward nodded slowly, watching Bella's eyes light up in excitement.

"We're out of here, good-night!" Edward waved as he and Bella made a hasty getaway into the house.

"Oooh, looks like someone is gonna get luc-"

"Emmett!" Rose admonished, casting a glance at the smirking Seth, Leah and Jake.

"Oh, um, I guess we can leave the rest for tomorrow. You guys can head home."

Jake stood between his brother and Leah as they helped the hobbled boy walk out of the garage. The light of the luminaries that Em had placed around the driveway and lighted jack-o-lanterns still blazing on various porches lit their path.

"You really did scream like a little kid. But I'm sorry that you got hurt." Seth apologized.

"Yeah, that wasn't the plan." Leah agreed.

"Admit it, you were scared." Seth couldn't resist goading his big brother one more time.

"I was not!"

The trio continued down the sidewalk for a moment and then stopped.

"Leah, do you smell that?" Seth's nose scrunched up as he sniffed the air.

"Yeah. It smells like pee." Leah's face screwed up in disgust as she pulled back from Jake to glance at his pants.

"I smell nothing! Keep moving!" Jake ordered, forcefully. Maybe a little bit too forcefully.

* * *

**Anyone want to guess what will happen in November?  
See you next week!**

**ruinedbyrob**


	4. Chapter-November

**A/N: I'll make this short and sweet. THANK YOU for all of the amazing support you're giving my little tale. Much love to all of you!**

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**November**

**A week after the Halloween party.**

**Forks Valley HOA FB Group**

**EMc2- **_"Happy November everyone. I wanna give a quick shout out to everyone that participated in the 1__st__ Annual HOA Halloween Extravaganza. I think we can safely say that a great time was had by all. I'm already looking forward to next year! Thanksgiving is coming up fast and if you're anything like me, apart from being thankful for all the wonderful people in your life, Thanksgiving means FOOD! I'd like to start a community recipe book. And what better time to start than Thanksgiving? So, please send me your favorite recipes and I'll make a Forks Valley Community Recipe book. I look forward to trying out everyone's fave dishes!"_

**CoolGmaCope**-"_Sounds great Em! I'm going to send in my famous fried chicken. I know it's everyone's favorite!"_

**RosalieHale**_**-"**__I'll add my grandma's fried chicken recipe too!"_

**CoolGmaCope**-" _RosalieHale-_ _You do that,_ _dear_."

**TheRealJackBauer**-_"I have a kick ass recipe for buffalo chicken dip!"_

**JessStanley-**_**"**__Does anyone have a great recipe for chili?"_

**BenRocks**_\- " JessStanley- We should have a chili cook off! I have a bunch of recipes."_

**JessStanley-**" BenRocks- _Would you PM me just one? I'm trying to impress a special someone. *wink, wink*"_

**EMc2**_-"A chili cook-off sounds like a great idea. I'll put it in the idea box!"_

**JaneJackson- **_"Can we PLEASE address the fact that someone egged our house on Halloween?"_

**mAlice- **_" JessStanley- Do you want a cornbread recipe to go with the chili?"_

**JessStanley-**_" __mAlice-"That would be great! Thank you."_

**EMc2**\- " JessStanley- _You'll love it! I add cheese and jalapeños!_

**JessStanley**-_" mAlice-Can I substitute green chilies?"_

**mAice**-" JessStanley- _Absolutely!"_

**JaneJackson-"**_Why are we not talking about the egging of our house? It took Alec three hours to clean it all off!"_

**EMc2- **_" JaneJackson- It would have only taken half that time if you'd have helped."_

**The day before Thanksgiving.**

"Onions, celery, sage…Did I get enough eggs?" Edward rolled his eyes and pointed to the two full egg cartons sitting on the top shelf of Bella's overflowing refrigerator.

"Oh, what about-"

"Bella," Edward said, moving from the kitchen stool to stand behind her. He wound his arms around her waist and gently tugged her to rest against him. "You've practically bought out two supermarkets to feed six people."

"I just want everyone to have their favorites. That's what Thanksgiving is all about." Edward sighed and moved Bella so she was facing him. He looked into her eyes, delighted when they seemed to melt under his gaze. He loved that he was able to cause such a reaction in her. The change in her demeanor since they'd been dating was visible to everyone, but none were as noticeable as the responses she gave him when they were alone. Bella had a colorful and deep sensual side to her. He was thrilled that she felt comfortable enough with him to explore it. But she still tended to fall back into her old ways. Her need to control everything still reared its head, especially when she was overly stressed.

"No, sweetheart, this holiday is about being thankful for all the good things in your life. Good health, good friends and people who love you." Bella looked up into Edward's eyes and sighed. They hadn't said those words to each other. But she was starting to realize that her feelings for this intelligent, kind, fun, strong and brave man, were steadily headed in that direction.

"I know, and I feel that way too," she said, leaning up to meet his lips. Kissing Edward had become as easy for her as breathing. She recognized that change in her and knew it was his easygoing manner that was rubbing off on her.

"Can you promise to relax a little until I get back?" Edward was scheduled to work right up until mealtime.

"I can promise to try," she said with a cheesy grin.

"I'll take it." Edward laughed and planted a kiss on her forehead.

**Thanksgiving Day**

Edward slipped out of Bella's house at 7am the next morning to start his shift. He'd fed Pikachu and let the dog that had become his ever-present shadow, out into the yard. Despite her promise to try to relax, Edward doubted she'd follow through but hoped if he took care of her early rising roommate, she'd get half an hour or so more sleep. He'd even reset her alarm to give her a little more rest. After last night, she needed it. Edward smirked to himself as he drove towards the hospital.

Bella stretched her right hand across the bed expecting to feel Edward's warm body next to her. Instead, she opened her eyes to see an empty pillow where his beautiful face should be. "Edward!" She called out, expecting to hear him answer from the bathroom. When none came, she opened her eyes to a sun filled room and her clock reading 10am. "Oh. My. God!" She exclaimed, jumping out of bed and rushed to the empty bathroom. "I'm late, oh God, I'm late!" After doing only the basic hygienic tasks, she threw on a pair of jeans, a long-sleeved tee shirt and ran to the kitchen.

An hour late she was furiously chopping celery and onions for stuffing while simultaneously preparing the eighteen-pound turkey she hoped would be enough to feed them all plus Emmett. She'd planned to have dinner ready by 2pm giving Edward enough time to eat and relax before heading back to the hospital for another shift. She only had one oven and had planned to have her pies already baked before putting the turkey in. Now, she was behind and was not able to give her pies the attention she would normally. And that was stressing her out.

"Bella Babe, we're here!" Rose called out as she and Emmett rounded the corner to find a frazzled Bella.

"What the Hell is going on in here?" Bella looked up from her kitchen island where bowls, utensils and various ingredients were scattered. Her usually high and tight ponytail was hanging limp down her back. She had flour coating the top of her hair, while bits of vegetables were clinging to her apron and a glob of what looked like mashed potatoes, was hanging from the tip of her nose. Rose had never seen her friend in such a state and was genuinely taken aback at what she saw, but stood quietly in shock whereas Emmett was not so subtle.

"Holy shit! Did a bomb go off in here? Were there any survivors?" Bella looked up from the bowl she was holding in wide-eyed distress.

"I woke up three hours late! I don't know what to do. I have so much to do but don't know where to start! The table isn't set, the turkey has two more hours to cook, the pies look terrible, the sweet potatoes aren't mashed…" Bella's voice quivered as she tried to hold it together. She'd never fallen this far behind in ANY task, much less a meal as important as Thanksgiving.

Rose, moved quickly to hug her friend.

"Shhh, it's okay." Rose crooned to the nearly tearful Bella. "It's only noon. We can push dinner back a little."

"No we can't." Bella tearfully explained. "Edward has to be back at the hospital by six for another shift. He traded with another doctor so he could have Christmas off."

"Em and I are here to help. Alice and Jasper will be along shortly. Everything will be fine." She promised while sharing a look with the cringing Emmett.

Once Bella had calmed down enough to give Rose a real idea of what was left to do, she and Emmett promised to take over so Bella could get a shower. After several minutes of stern discussion, Bella agreed. She fretted again over the fact that the turkey was taking up the whole oven, not leaving room to cook the assorted side dishes.

"I got it. Set the bird in the oven, turn it to 475 and walk away."

"No, 325 or you'll dry it out." Rose palmed her forehead as she explained again that turning the heat up would not work.

"But if 325 gets the bird done in two hours, 475 would cut it to one and a half and then-"

"NO! **Listen. To. Me.**" Rose grabbed Emmett's shirt collar, pulling him in so she was right in his face. She loved the gentle giant, but she would have to hurt him if he screwed this up.

"Bella is on the edge. Getting her to hand over any of the meal prep is a _huge_ deal. If we screw up this turkey, the _very_ turkey that she has brined for 24 hours in cranberry and lemon and then smothered in butter and herbs, she might blow and if she does, she'll take all of us with her." Rose exhaled loudly, and forcibly pushed Emmett back.

"Babe, you need to chill." Emmett commented, straightening out his collar as Rose took a big swig of wine and glared at him.

"You're wound about as tightly as B and I _KNOW_ you've been getting regular workouts." He smirked and waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"If you screw this up, this morning's _workout_ will be the last for a very long time." She promised before turning away from an astonished Emmett to begin work on the broccoli casserole.

Emmett wisely kept his mouth shut. He grabbed the turkey pan and walked out of the kitchen, leaving his murmuring girlfriend to her yams or whatever she was cooking.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Alice call out as she and Jasper walked in the front door to find the startled Emmett juggling the large and ungainly pan.

"Whoa." Jasper exclaimed, reaching out to steady the big guy.

"Thanks, bro. Rose would have had my giblets if I'd dropped this."

"What's going on?" Alice asked suspiciously, eyeing the turkey roaster in Emmett's large hands. She quickly scanned the room looking for signs of a struggle. She knew that Bella wouldn't have given up the centerpiece of her meal without a fight.

"B, woke up late, flipped her shit and is now taking a bath to wash off all of the food splatter. Me and Rosie are helping to cook. I'm cooking the turkey." He proudly thrust the half-baked bird in Alice's surprised face.

"Oh shit." Jasper swore.

"_Oh, shit_ is right. Alice, get your tiny ass in here!" Rose bellowed from the kitchen. Alice waved to the guys and hurried off to help Rose.

"Dude, let's go cook us a turkey."

"Okay, I've set out Grandma Marie's second-best china…" Rose knew that Bella reserved the best china for Christmas.

Alice nodded. "The wine glasses are set out and ice is waiting in the water goblets…"

"The casseroles are done and covered…" Bella added.

"The rolls just went in, and Em should be bringing the turkey over any minute." Rose and Alice smiled at each other as they listed their accomplishments.

"I love you guys." Bella cried, embracing both girls. "I don't know what I'd have done without you."

"You always have us." Rose smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek. It was a rare moment when Bella Swan showed this much emotion.

"Besides, you had everything ready. All we had to do was put it together."

"And you do this every year by yourself. It's about time you give us a chance at a little of the glory." Alice laughed, playfully hip checking her friend.

"Okay." Bella smiled as Rose and Alice's eyes widened.

"Did she just agree that…?"

"We could help from now on? It's a Thanksgiving miracle, Charlie Brown!" Alice hugged a laughing Rosalie.

Bella chuckled at the pair and went to light the candles.

"Emmett, it looks fantastic."

"Well done, baby." Rose said, kissing Em's cheek as they gazed at the perfectly browned skin of Bella's turkey.

"Hey, I helped." Jasper added, getting his own kiss from Alice.

"I would have helped, but I had to work." Edward pouted, wanting his kiss.

"You're lucky I'm letting you eat with us after the stunt you pulled this morning." Bella snorted.

"I just wanted you to get a little extra sleep."

"I know," Bella said, reaching out to take his hand. "I appreciate the gesture. Even if it almost ruined Thanksgiving."

Edward took Bella's hand, and placed a kiss on her knuckles as he gazed into her dark chocolate eyes. "As long as we're surrounded by friends who love and support us, no matter what happens with the food, the day wouldn't have been ruined."

"Amen! Bella, this thing looks almost too pretty to eat." Emmett added, poised over the turkey with a carving knife and fork.

"Thank you. But it would be nothing but a lump of raw meat if you and Jasper hadn't finished cooking it." Both men beamed under her praise.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Swan/McCarty/Whitlock Thanksgiving turkey!" Everyone held their breath in anticipation as Emmett made the first cut.

"Oh. My. God!"

"What the hell happened?"

"Is it supposed to do that?"

"Emmett did it!"

Bella watched as the centerpiece of her Thanksgiving table imploded with an audible wheeze before emitting a smell she simple could not describe and never wanted to experience again. All of the amazing, perfect holiday meals she'd experience with her grandmother at the helm flashed before her eyes. The immaculate table settings, perfectly seasoned and cooked casseroles, perfectly browned buns with honey–butter, savory and sweet salads that fit everyone's palette and then the turkey. Always juicy, always melt in your mouth. Those images played before her as her friends searched her face for a reaction.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward leaned forward to look in her eyes and grasped her wrist so he could feel her pulse. His medical training took over. He was preparing for her to go into shock.

What he was not prepared for was for her to lean her head back and emit an explosive howl that quickly became uncontrolled laughter.

"Did you-I mean-it fucking imploded! And the smell!" Bella laughed pointing at the still whimpering bird.

Alice and Rose shared a long-frightened look before gazing back upon their out of control friend.

Pikachu, looked up at Bella, and slowly backed out of the dining room to go hide in his doggie bed. His dreams of turkey treats offered under the table gone as he witnessed his mom's breakdown.

"It's like the _Christmas Vacation_ turkey! Hey, Em, do you want to set my tree on fire too? That would be hilarious!" Bella laughed so hard tears ran down her cheeks.

"Dude, your girl is losing her shit!" Emmett pointed at his glowering friend as Bella's maniacal laughter filled the room.

"And whose fucking fault is that?" Edward growled. Emmett shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to look innocent.

"Emmett, how high did you cook the turkey?" Rose narrowed her eyes as she zeroed in in the now red-faced man.

"Um, how high did you- I mean, I cooked it just like you-"

"475!" Jasper blurted out, unable to keep the secret of their crime any longer. Emmett threw his hands over his eyes as his shoulders fell in defeat.

"WHAT?" Rose screamed, throwing her pumpkin-orange linen napkin to the table and getting up to confront Emmett. "I told you 325!"

"I just wanted to make sure we met B's timeline! It's Edward's fault she got up late!"

The table erupted in accusations and defensive quarreling amongst the group. Bella's voice became hoarse from her laughter. She took a large gulp of the now warm pinot grigio and observed her friend's riotous display.

"Guy's. Guys!" Bella raised her voice slightly to get their attention. The group stopped mid-argument and all looked at the amused woman.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward leaned over and took her hand.

"We were worried."

"I told him not to do that!" Rose screamed while glaring daggers at Emmett.

"Emmett made me do it!" Jasper blurted out.

"Rosie, please unclench!" Emmett let out a loud sigh of relief as Rose removed her hand from his groin.

"I'm fine. Really." Bella promised, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I just realized that I've spent my whole life thinking it was about the dinner being perfect. It doesn't matter what the turkey tastes like or if napkins are folded into bird shapes. I've spent too much time worrying about the food and not enough time enjoying the company I'm blessed to share it with."

"Wow!" Alice exclaimed in surprise.

"Double wow!" Jasper echoed her sentiment.

"I never thought I'd see the day…" Rose couldn't even finish her statement she was so surprised.

"I'm so proud of you, Cookie." Edward, beamed with pride.

"So, do we have any pie?"

* * *

**I hope you all got a little chuckle. I think we can all use a laugh right now. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you as the whole world works through the COVID-19 pandemic. Please, please, take this seriously and do what the science and medical experts advise. ****  
**

**Until next time, **

**ruinedbyrob**


	5. Chapter-December

**Ready for more HOA hijanks? I hope so!**

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**December**

**December 1****st**

**Forks Valley HOA FB Group**

**EMc2-"**_The winter holidays are upon us and what better way to brighten everyone's nights than to hold the First Annual Forks Valley Holiday Lights Extravaganza? Channel your inner Clark Griswold and help us light up the neighborhood. First prize will be a $50.00 Gift Certificate to Hickory Park. Second prize is a $15.00 Gift Certificate to Curly's ice cream parlor and third prize is a certificate for yours truly to do odd jobs around your house for an afternoon.__Judges will __be __Jasper Whitlock, Edward Cullen and myself. The three judges will be walking around the neighborhood Saturday the 14th, starting at 6pm and the prizes will be awarded on the 19__th__ at the HOA meeting. PM me your address of you plan to participate so we don't miss your display. Are you ready to get lit?"_

**JaneJackson**_-" EMc2- Where did the money come from for the prizes? HOA money is NOT supposed to be spent on anything but__ improvements __to the neighborhood common areas and official HOA business as VOTED on by the members! Not frivolous contests."_

**IsabellaMSwan**_-" JaneJackson-Are you implying that I've misappropriated HOA funds?_"

**JaneJackson**-_" IsabellaMSwan- I'm simply asking a question."_

**IsabellaMSwan**-_" JaneJackson- I would NEVER misuse HOA funds!"_

**Victoriasells**-_" IsabellaMSwan- You sound defensive."_

**RosalieHale-**_" Victoriasells-"She's defending herself! How is she supposed to sound? Btw, I just sold that two story Cape Cod on Salinger Ln. You snooze, you lose!"_

**EMc2**_-" JaneJackson-The prizes were donated by the businesses and I'm donating my time. Bella did nothing wrong!"_

**LaurenMallory**_-"I don't eat meat! I find it offensive that part of my HOA dues are going to a prize that contributes to the murder of helpless animals!"_

**TheREALJackBauer**_-" LaurenMallory-Well, I'm lactose intolerant and I don't want my dues going to the ice cream joint!"_

**mAlice**_-" LaurenMallory- Didn't you just see Emmett's comment? __NO HOA__ funds were used!"_

**LaurenMallory**-" _TheREALJackBauer-That's not the same thing and you know it! You're being insulting to my sensibilities!" _

**TheREALJackBauer-**_" LaurenMallory-Well I think your sensibilities are stupid!"_

**TylerCrowley-**_" TheREALJackBauer-Don't call my girlfriend, stupid'" _

**CoolGmaCope-**_" LaurenMallory, TheREALJackBauer, TylerCrowley-I think you're all being stupid! Btw, EMc2, put me down for the show! I'm aiming for third place. *wink*"_

"Ugh, Jane is really gunning for me on this HOA thing."

"Seriously, you think you have problems? Old lady Cope has a crush on my boyfriend." Rosalie said, shaking her head with a sigh.

"I thought she had a crush on Jasper?" Bella asked, momentarily distracted from the vendetta that Jane apparently had for her.

"Oh, she does, that octogenarian is after every man in the neighborhood. You had better fit Edward with pinch resistant underwear. Jasper says she leaves bruises." The girls laughed at the memory of Mrs. Cope chasing Jasper around during the neighborhood party last September.

"I have my hands full just keeping Lauren and Tanya's claws off of him. I don't know if I could handle fending Shelley Cope off too."

The three friends shared a laugh as they continued checking strings of Christmas lights. Emmett had gone up into all three women's attics and dragged down boxes and boxes of assorted Christmas decorations and house lights. Even though their homes would be exempt from the contest, they'd all agreed to get their lights up.

"So, are we going all out or showing restraint? "Alice asked from the floor where she currently had several strings of lights wound around her torso.

"Um, hellooo, I live with 'Mr. I Don't Know the Meaning of Restraint' what do you think?" Rose rolled her eyes as Alice and Bella giggled.

"I guess that answers that. I'm going for somewhere in the middle. Bella, what about you?"

"I don't really have a plan. We'll see what happens." Rose and Alice stared at Bella and then shared a glance.

"You, Isabella Marie Swan, don't have a plan? Holy crap!" Bella laughed at Rose's surprise.

"You've really changed girlfriend. How does it feel?" Alice asked. Bella sat silently for a moment, contemplating her answer. She didn't feel any differently, except for the warm glow that emanated outward from her chest every time Edward called her 'baby', she was definitely sleeping better. Of course, that could be due to the nightly amorous activities she was now regularly engaged in. So far, Edward had been more than happy to act out pieces of her favorite novels. Bella blushed at the memory of their latest scenario that depicted a mind-reading bartender with a penchant for cartoon characters and cute nicknames.

"Are you blushing? She's blushing!" Alice announced, clapping her hands. Rose narrowed her eyes as if to get a better look at her friends' rosy complexion.

"Yep, that's a blush. And if I know anything about the subject, it's a sex blush."

Bella grabbed a holiday themed throw pillow off her couch and threw it in Rose's direction. Rose dodged the projectile and laughed.

"Hey, it looks good on you. And believe me since finding our trio of men, we've all worn that same blush a time or two."

"I know I've only known my Jazzy for five months, but I know he's it for me. I feel more for him now than I think I ever did for my ex-husband." Alice smiled wistfully.

"Hell, girl. Emmett moved in with me after dating for three weeks! I didn't spend the night at my ex's until we'd been dating for months. I _know_ Emmett is the one."

"What about you?" Rose asked, gently knocking into Bella's shoulder.

"Um, I've never had this before. My previous boyfriends were more like friends. Edward is so, so, much more." Bella smiled and looked down at the twinkling lights.

"You're in deep, girly."

"Aren't we all?" Alice laughed.

"I think we are." Bella agreed with a wide smile.

**Saturday, Dec. 14****th,**** 5:15pm**

**Forks Valley HOA FB Group**

**EMc2**_-"Today's the day! The guys and I will begin walking the neighborhood at 5:30pm and go until we've seen everyone. So, have your displays done and the lights ready to go on at precisely 5:30pm! If you want to walk with us, and I encourage that because we are a bunch of pretty cool dudes, meet us at 1102 Clemens by 5:30pm for the kick off. Remember the rules, THERE AREN'T ANY!" _

**CoolGmaCope-**_" EMc2- No rules. Woo hoo!"_

**EMc2**_-" CoolGmaCope-There is __**ONE**__ rule, no pinching the judge's butts!"_

**CoolGmaCope**\- _"Nuts!"_

"Quite a crowd, huh?" Emmett beamed at Jasper and Edward. They nodded in agreement. From the looks of the people assembled around the yard at 1102 Clemens, everyone not actively engaged in a yard display gathered to walk around the displays.

"I don't think we've ever had this much participation in a neighborhood event. You did well." Emmett grinned at Bella's praise.

"Thanks, boss. This was easy, everyone did their own work."

"Miss Bella," Bella turned to look at Alex Smiley. "Can I have more cocoa?" Bell nodded and filled his cup from one of the three large thermoses Alice, Rose and she were using to dispense the warm liquid to the waiting neighbors. While the winters were never very cold in Forks, tonight's temperature definitely called for cocoa.

"Is this your third cup? Pace yourself, dude. No stopping for pee breaks." Emmett cautioned, the bundled-up Alex.

"I'm a guy, I can go anywhere." Edward, Jasper laughed at Alex's comment while Emmett quietly gave him an approving fist bump.

"Don't encourage the kid." Bella admonished the three men, before turning back to Alex. "There will be no public urination." She chided the grinning boy.

"Wow, what has this neighborhood come to when we have to remind people to _not_ urinate on the sidewalks?" Bella's spine stiffened at the sound of Jane's voice. She sighed, reminding herself that it was Christmas and she should concentrate her efforts on spreading joy, not envisioning a hundred ways to hide a body. Bella plastered a smile on her face and turned to face her nemesis.

"Jane, Alec, how nice to see you."

"I'm sure." Jane snorted in disbelief. "So, Swan, what do we have planned for tonight? A house fire, sledding into fences, will Emmett be awarding money for the house with the largest phallic symbol made out of snow?" Bella cringed as Jane referred to the small anatomically correct snowman that had lasted just long enough in the Black's front yard for Jane to drive by and see it. After receiving a talking to from their parents, Seth and Jake were ordered to dismantle their 'masterpiece'.

"Jane, you know that's a gross misinterpretation of what I said and the snowman was immediately dismantled upon its discovery." Bella explained through clenched teeth.

"It was up long enough for me to get a picture." Bella pictured herself throttling the grinning woman.

"You keep a picture of a snowman's _wang_? That's sick!" Emmett loudly proclaimed, turning toward Jane's silent and ever-present husband. "Does she make you chill _Little Alec_ before getting busy? Dude, no sex is worth possibly frostbiting the _boys_." Alec's face turned bright red at Emmett's outlandish statement while Jane looked angry enough to bite through nails.

"You're disgusting!" Jane yelled over her shoulder as she pulled Alec down the sidewalk, away from the group and back towards their dark and unadorned house.

"Hey, I'm NOT the one with snowman _dick-pics_ on their phone." Emmett made one last jab at the hastily departing couple, while Bella hung her head and covered her eyes.

"Not helping, Emmett."

"What? She deserved it!" Emmett proclaimed proudly. "I was defending you."

"I know, and I appreciate it, but antagonizing her is not going to help me. It's only going to make her look harder for mistakes she can expose." Emmett considered Bella's statement and nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay, I will not hesitate to defend you when I deem necessary, but no more poking the blonde bear with a stick. Deal?" Emmett flashed a quick smile and Bella relented.

"Deal." The two hugged as the neighborhood looked on.

"Hey, Dimples, let's get this show on the road! I'm freezing my bahoogie off!" Mrs. Cope yelled, breaking up the pair. Emmett looked at his watch and motioned the large group to gather around the giant makeshift light switch that he'd made out for the occasion.

"Okay, everyone on the count of three." The crowd tensed as Emmett held up his fingers to begin the countdown. Rose moved to stand to his right side as Jasper, Alice, Edward and Bella stood on his left. Edward's arm slipped around Bella's waist. Jane's recent taunts forgotten as she snuggled into his side.

"3, 2, 1!" The crowd cheered as Emmett flipped the switch. For 30 seconds, the entire neighborhood lit up like a thousand glorious suns, before falling completely into darkness.

An hour later after the Forks Electric Department had restored power, and had given Bella a speech about overloading the city's electrical grid, the contest was back on.

The large group of neighbors moved through the streets, _oohing_ and _ahhing_ at display after display. Despite the not so spectacular start, the night turned out to be a huge success. Young and old alike were delighted in the night's events and the neighborhood seemed to come together as they congratulated each other on their displays. Word got out around town and over the next two weeks, cars from all over the city we're seen driving up and down the community enjoying the lights and the holiday cheer provided by the Forks Valley HOA.

**Forks Valley HOA FB Group**

**December 15th**

**EMc2**-_"Happy holidays Forks Valley! Thank all of you for the spectacular showing for the First Annual Forks Valley Holiday Lights Extravaganza! I know things started a little rocky. Who knew that everyone throwing the switch at the same time would blow the grid? Lesson learned! For all of those who weren't able to make it to the meeting last night, you not only missed out on trying TheREALJackBauer's fantastic Buffalo Chicken dip, but you also missed out on award announcements. While I can't give you a second chance at that dip, here are the winners of the contest!_

_First prize- the $50.00 gift certificate to Hickory Park went to the Smiley family from 3102 Salinger Ln, for their music and light coordinated laser show. WOW! Simply, WOW!_

_Second prize-$15.00 to Curly's Ice Cream Parlor went to the Holden family from 3333 Quimby, for their realistic rendition of the Griswold House. I bet you can totally see that sucker from space! _

_Last but not least, third prize- An afternoon of yours truly doing all of those household chores you don't want to do, went to Shelley Cope from 5203 Meyer Street, for her blow-up wonderland. Seriously, I had no idea that many blow-ups would fit in one yard. Get your chore list ready, I'll be knocking on your door soon. Again, thank you for the amazing turnout. Next year will be…wait for it…EPIC!_

**GotmyIonU-**_" EMc2-"How come my business wasn't given a chance at the free advertisement? Seems like there was a little favoritism going on!"_

**JaneJackson-**_" GotmyIonU-I noticed that too." _

_**EMc2-**__" GotmyIonU, JaneJackson-No favoritism at all. Those two businesses were in attendance at the HOA meeting when I asked for volunteers. Next year you're welcome to throw in a gift cert. for your eye clinic."_

**JamesWhitherdale-**_"I want a free plug! Check out Witherdale Insurance for all of your auto, home and health insurance needs!" _

**MOrnio-**_"Ornio Insurance is the__** OFFICIAL**__ insurance carrier for the HOA!" _

**JWhitherdale**_-"That's only because Vic and I __**JUST**__ moved here!"_

**JaneJackson-" **_ JWhitherdale. Talk to me in May.*wink*_

**RosalieHale**_-" JaneJackson-You shouldn't be making promises you don't have the authority to keep!"_

Bella sighed and tossed her phone to the seat beside her.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, looking up from the medical article he was reading on his tablet.

"Jane is basically promising James Whitherdale that the HOA will move the insurance to his company when she takes my job in May." Edward put his tablet down and moved from his armchair to sit beside Bella on the couch. He put his arm around her, pulling her close to him. She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist, snuggling into his side. He knew that the whole HOA thing Jane was weighing heavily on her mind.

"Won't she look stupid when she loses?"

"After everything that's gone wrong, you really think she'll lose?" Bella scoffed. "I'm as good as gone."

Edward sighed and glanced down. The soft glow from the thousands of Christmas lights twinkling from her 7-foot pre-lit Balsam tree, cast her profile in a muted glow. Tears brimmed in her eyes but she stoically refused to allow them to fall.

"Bella," he said tenderly. "I know there have been some bumps, but nothing has happened that would be cause for your removal. If anything, Emmett is the one that should be removed."

"Can you even fire a volunteer?" Bella chuckled softly. "He's tried so hard to bring the community together. Everyone loves him." Edward pulled back and looked down into her face. She looked up into his eyes. "What? They do." She shrugged, turning back toward her silver and purple themed tree.

"And you don't think they feel the same about you?" Bella silently stared ahead, upsetting Edward with her silence. He knew how hard she'd been trying to be everything to everyone. And except for the group of anal-retentive assholes, led by Jane, most of the community was happy with the changes. Even with the Halloween incident, exploding turkey, and recent total community blackout, she'd been able to keep from melting down. The Bella he'd found pounding on his door that first weekend after he'd moved into Forks Valley, would have melted into a puddle by now. Pearl choker and all. He was so proud of her and it killed him that she wasn't proud of herself for all she'd accomplished.

"Bella, they love you too. None of these awesome events would have happened without you."

"Maybe."

"Well," he said, cupping her chin and tilting her face up. He kissed her deeply. "I love you."

"What?" Bella asked in wide-eyed surprise, all thoughts of HOA business forgotten as she attempted to absorb what he'd said. Edward smiled and kissed her again, delighting that he'd stunned her into silence.

"I love you too," she answered nearly breathless from his kisses.

* * *

**How many of you guessed that Emmett would blow the electric grid? I mean, seriously, it's Emmett!**  
**I'm so excited by the reception this story is receiving. I hope you get a laugh from the antics of the crew. I know we can all use as many laughs as possible right now.**

**Stay safe,**

**ruinedbyrob**


	6. Chapter-January

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**December /January**

**December 22nd **

**Forks Valley HOA FB Group**

**EMc2- **_"It's time to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new with a masquerade ball in the HOA community hall. The partying will begin at 9PM with hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. Music will be provided by Ben Cheney, aka BenRocks and his lady Angela Weber. Normal masquerade attire required. Join us as we welcome in the New Year with friends, drinks and dancing."_

** MNewton-**_" EMc2-Been looking for an excuse to show off my dance moves."_

** JessStanley-**_" MNewton-I LOVE your moves!"_

** MNewton-**_" JessStanley- I know you do! "_

** JaneJackson-**_" JessStanley & MNewton- Can you two PLEASE keep your sexual innuendos off the HOA FB? I find it incredible annoying and unprofessional!"_

** CoolGmaCope-**_" JaneJackson-Loosen up! It's a new year! I'm on board. 'Dimples', I've got a whole trunk of masks and dresses if anyone needs them."_

** mAlice**_-" CoolGmaCope- I second your suggestion and I'll be over to go through your trunk of tricks!" _

**TheREALJackBauer-**_" EMc2- I have a TON of leftover lights to decorate the HOA Hall and Gazebo."_

** EMc2-**_" TheREALJackBauer-"That would be great! Count me in for free labor."_

** JWhit-**_" TheREALJackBauer-Count me in!"_

**December 31****st****. **

The music from the makeshift DJ's booth boomed loudly, filling the HOA community hall with a raucous beat as the groups of New Year's Eve partiers danced along to the beats. Bella adjusted her blue and silver mask while peering across the crowded room. When Emmett had suggested a neighborhood New Year's party, her first reaction had been to immediately say 'no'. She'd been unwilling to take the chance it would end up giving Jane something else to use against her in May. But then she thought about Edward in a tux, and suddenly she was more than enthusiastic to approve Emmett's request. Emmett, Jasper and their crew had gone above and beyond with the decorations. She'd never seen the HOA hall and outside gazebo look so festive. Jack Bauer had donated nearly 20 thousand lights and the event area shined like a diamond among the dark backdrop of the December night. For once the Forks weather had cooperated. The daytime overcast clouds had dissipated, leaving star studded skies and only slightly cool weather. From the size of the crowd in the hall, it was clear that the neighborhood was taking advantage of the nice weather.

"Bella, get your gorgeous self over here and dance with us!" Rose bellowed from the dance floor where she, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were dancing. Without hesitation, Bella picked up the hem of her navy blue ballgown and rushed to join the group.

"Hey, everyone it's 11:30. We're getting the champagne ready for the toast. You need to find who you're going to kiss at midnight!" Ben's announcement roused the crowd to loud applause. They all scrambled to find that special someone, grabbing glasses of champagne as they scurried around. Bella left her friends and made her way to hall entrance to wait for Edward. As cliché as it sounded her anticipation for ringing in the New Year with the man she loved, was off the charts. The time kept ticking down as she watched for Edward's Audi to show up. Bella's phone text msg chimed. Seeing it was from Edward, she quickly swiped it open. Her face fell as she read his message.

"_Six car pile-up on the 101. May not make midnight. I'm sorry." _

Disappointed but understanding that he had no control over what had happened, she quickly replied to him.

"_I understand. Being a doctor has to come first."_

"_I'll be there as soon as I can. Save your midnight kiss for me?"_

"_I'm saving all of my kisses for you." _

"_See you soon! Love you." _Bella smiled widely in the dark. After his first admission, before Christmas, they'd told each other whenever the opportunity arose and it never ceased to send a shiver up her spine.

"_I love you too!"_ She quickly typed back.

Bella entered to hall as Ben began the last call for champagne before the countdown. She surveyed her happy neighbors and friends as they prepared for midnight. She made her way through the happy crowd, smiling and waving as she passed them in their fancy dress and masks on her way outside.

Thankful for the knitted shawl, Alice had found that matched the dress Mrs. Cope loaned her, Bella made her way to the brightly lit gazebo. She pulled the shawl around her and leaned against the railing, sipping her drink.

"10, 9, 8…" Bella purposely turned away from the hall to stare out into the darkness as the countdown began.

"7, 6, 5, 4, 3…" Bella sighed as the revelry inside turned up.

"Hey, beautiful" Startled, Bella turned and exhaled quickly at the sight in front of her.

"You rat!" She exclaimed, referencing his deceitful text.

"2,1!" Ben's voice rang out loudly across the open lawn.

"Just barely." He smiled sadly. "Sorry about the ruse, I couldn't resist."

"It doesn't matter, you're here now." Bella all but jumped into his arms as he walked up the three steps to the gazebo. They embraced tightly, before kissing passionately under the twinkling lights.

"I'm so glad you're here." Bella breathed into Edward's neck. He hugged her tighter in response.

"Me too. You look beautiful." Edward smiled appreciatively at her dress. He carefully, untied her mask and lifted it off her face to find her lovely eyes beaming up at him.

"Is this a rental tux?" She asked, stroking his arm, admiring the incredible fit of the black garment that was hugging his tall lean frame perfectly.

"Why?"

"Um, I was just thinking about how dominating you look right now." Bella said, mischievously.

"It's mine." He admitted with a smirk.

"Even the tie?" He nodded, wondering where her inquiry was leading. Bella reached up and fingered the soft bow tie at his neck.

"Do you have more than one tie?"

"I actually have several really nice ties. Do you have a tie fetish?" Edward tightened his grip on her waist, he wasn't sure what direction her thoughts were going but eagerly waited to hear what she was going to say next.

"Do you think you'd want to tie me up, with some of your ties?" Edward had to grab onto the railing to stop from falling over. In the past six months the intelligent, kind and beautiful woman in his arms had continually surprised and delighted him with her willingness to open up and step outside of the box she'd put herself in for the past several years. He'd known from the moment he opened his door to find her standing there in her pressed polo shirt and pearl choker demanding he go over the HOA rules, that there was a warm and passionate woman hiding in there. But he'd never guessed exactly how open she was sexually.

"Are you serious?"

Bella's answer was to shamelessly raise her eyebrow and grab his hand to pull him out of the gazebo, leading him out across the lawn towards the parking lot. Edward stayed silent and followed his woman. His excitement growing by the minute. On their way they passed the large window of the hall, Edward glanced briefly inside and saw their friends and neighbors still engaged in the night's celebrations. Bella never slowed until they reached his car.

He opened the door, helping her inside. "I have two questions."

"Yes?" She asked, pulling him in for a lingering kiss, eager to get started with the rest of their night together. Edward had to pull back before he lost all willpower and really pushed her PDA boundaries.

"Are you really going to let me tie you up?" Bella smiled wickedly, answering his question without uttering a word. Stunned, Edward just stared, as she stroked his hand seductively.

"What was the second question?"

"Huh." He uttered, shaking his head to clear it from the fog her touches were eliciting. Edward pulled himself out of his haze and rushed to get into the car.

"You said you had two questions." Bella asked as he settled into his seat.

"Oh right. Um, I thought tonight was an elegant masquerade ball." He remarked, smoothly pulling out of the parking lot.

"It is." She answered, holding up her feathered and crystal covered mask as evidence.

"Then why was Emmett wearing a Storm Trooper helmet?"

* * *

**A/N** Just a quickie chapter tonight. I plan to post February, tomorrow night. I think we can all use a little extra laugh this week.

Stay safe!

ruinedbyrob


	7. Chapter-February

**Welcome to another episode of the 'As the HOA Turns' LOL!**

**Thanks so much for all of the reviews. I LOVE hearing all of your thoughts and it puts a huge smile on my face when you tell me how much you're enjoying the laughs the HOA gang brings you. We need more laughs right now and I hope this story continues to provide them.**

**Much love to my beta, Edwardsfirstkiss, my prereader, Sazzledazzle and to twi2escape for making the banner. **

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**February**

**February 11th**

**Forks Valley HOA FB Group**

**EMc2**_\- "Quick reminder, if you have a booth to set up, the HOA hall will be open at 2 on Saturday the 13th. If you're donating baked goods for the cake walk and gift baskets for the auction, you can show up right before the doors open to the public at __3:30__."_

**LaurenMallory**-" EMc2-_What was this for again?" _

** EMc2**_-" LaurenMallory-We're participating in the Forks school system fundraiser. The Spartans are raising money for new band uniforms, and a popcorn machine for the concession stand."_

** CoolGmaCope**_-" EMc2- I've baked three cakes and four dozen cookies!"_

** EMc2**_-" CoolGmaCope- That's great! I hope one of those cakes has my name on it!" _

** CoolGmaCope**_-" EMc2-If you save me a spot at your booth."_

**JaneJackson**_-"I don't have a kid in school. Why should I participate?"_

** EMc2**_-" JaneJackson- It's about helping out our community. The public schools are part of our community." _

** JaneJackson**_-" EMc2-I pay taxes. That should be enough. If they don't have enough money for band uniforms, then maybe there shouldn't be a band__?__"_

** AWeber**_-" JaneJackson-Don't you think that's a bit selfish?"_

** JaneJackson**_-" AWeber- No. I believe in earning what you have. Maybe those kids need to raise their own money?"_

** JWhit**_-" JaneJackson- What do you think a __fundraiser__ is?"_

"I swear, if that old woman doesn't stop hitting on Emmett, I'm going to rip her frizzy perm out by the roots." Alice and Bella shared a glance as they continued painting the walls of Em's kissing booth bright red.

"I think it's kind of cute." Bella shrugged.

"That's only because Edward is not around enough for her to sink her geriatric claws into." Alice offered, flipping her brush at Bella.

"Damn, Alice Watch it!" Bella screamed, wiping the splatter of red paint off her face. Alice rolled her eyes at her perturbed friend and dipped her brush back into the can of paint.

"Sorry. I'm just saying, the woman hit 80 years old and suddenly her libido is going 90mph and is bearing down on our men!"

**February 13****th**

"If there is a question, always give the prize to the youngest kid. If a fit is thrown, give a prize to everyone in tears." Bella nodded as Mr. Banner; her high school biology teacher gave her a run down on operating the bags game they'd borrowed from the school carnival. Alice would be running a similar booth next to Bella's, while Rose was running the cakewalk with Mrs. Cope. Both booths were in a prime position to see the cakewalk, Emmett's kissing booth, and where the auction would happen. Local business people and such were auctioning off their services. Jasper was taking a page out of Emmett's book and was auctioning off his carpentry skills, Mike Newton was giving away gift certificates to his family's sporting goods store, Ben was giving away two hours of his DJ services, the Clearwater sisters were auctioning babysitting time, and Jake and Seth were doing something similar with their mowing services. Edward would be acting as the emcee and auctioneer for the whole event. Bella couldn't wait to hear his sexy voice amplified over the PA system.

At 3:30pm, the doors to the hall opened and the members of the Forks Valley HOA crew were ready to go to work.

By 4:45pm, Bella had nearly run out of prizes, Alice had already shut her game down and was running around the other booths, helping wherever she was needed. She was also keeping Bella up to date on all the goings on of the carnival.

"_Bauer got caught sticking his finger in the frosting of Mrs. Hamilton's German Chocolate cake, removing it from the contest. She smacked him with her umbrella."_

"_The line to Em's kissing booth is soooo long and the average age for the people in line is 60!"_ That update made Bella giggle. Emmett was only kissing on cheeks but at only a dollar apiece, he'd hoped there would be some younger participants. She was sure Rose was delighted at the news that his average customer was his mother's age.

"_I think Tanya threw her back out doing the limbo._" This particular update brought an evil smile to Bella's lips. She might still harbor a little animosity over _Costumegate _last October.

At 5:30pm the auction was set to start, with the cakewalk commencing right afterwards. Bella cleaned up her area and set out to find a good spot where she could watch Edward. Since the hall wasn't huge like a high school gymnasium, the HOA had to get a bit creative with the spacing. Once the booths were pushed up against the wall, Edward was able to start his show. He'd pulled out his tux for the occasion, accenting it with a tie in Cullen plaid.

"Is that a new tie?" Bella asked with a smirk.

"I told you I had a lot of ties." He winked in response before taking the stage. Bella not so subtly licked her lips in wide-eyed excitement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Forks Valley HOA would like to thank you all for attending our fundraiser for the Forks High School Marching Band. I want to remind you that all proceeds will be going to the Forks High Spartans to assist with the purchase of new band uniforms. With that being said, let's get started with our first item." Edward's velvet voice flowed through the microphone and speakers to land like the richest chocolate over the entranced audience. Well, most of the crowd, the children and most of the men were not quite as enthralled as the women. After the auction ended, Bella found herself the bewildered owner of a gift basket full of assorted plum, date and kumquat jams and jellies, courtesy of Mrs. Schmidt. She wasn't quite sure how she became the owner of such an eclectic grouping. The only thing that was clear was the trance that she and many others in the audience had fallen under when Edward began speaking, causing her to bid on items she would otherwise have avoided.

Bella took her eyes off her basket of _goodies_ and met the equally shocked eyes of Alice. Alice had been out bid by Lauren for Jasper's carpentry coupon and had ended up with a piece of artwork from Mr. Bauer.

"What is that thing?" Bella whispered eyeing the monstrosity in Alice's arms. The gleaming item looked like a collection of rusted out bolts, springs and other miscellaneous hardware that would have normally been found in the garbage.

"I have no idea." Alice answered, turning the two-foot statue over in her hands. "Maybe it represents the degradation of our society depicted in rusted and melted junk? Or maybe it's just a bunch of junk he had laying around so he um, welded it together and called it art? Either way, it's awful."

"Let's go stow our prizes and get ready for the cakewalk." Alice readily agreed with Bella's suggestion. They quickly moved to leave their winnings in the dark corner of the cloakroom

Upon reentering the hall, Bella was able to appreciate the turnout. She had to hand it to Emmett, he'd really gotten the word out and by the looks of the large goal chart, and they were not only going to meet their fundraising goal but would surpass it by several hundred dollars. Edward was inking the contribution from the auction as the girl's left the coat room.

"Wow, Jasper brought in a haul!" Bella exclaimed, pointing to the tally sheet where it showed that Lauren had paid nearly three-hundred dollars to have Jasper build her a small end table.

"Do not remind me!" Alice ordered through clenched teeth. She'd stayed neck and neck with the other women in the bidding but was momentarily distracted by squealing coming from the direction of Emmett's kissing booth and ultimately lost as Lauren placed the final bid.

"Hey," Edward greeted, leaning down to place a kiss on Bella's lips.

"Hi," She answered, with a dreamy smile. His kisses were like a drug and she always felt as if she were coming out of a haze when he kissed her.

"_You_!" Alice exclaimed, jabbing her finger into Edward's chest. "_You_ allowed that harpy to purchase _**alone**_ time with my Jazzy!"

"Hey, I was just doing my job." Edward retorted, rubbing the spot he was sure was going to later become a bruise.

"_You_ let her have the final bid!"

"You snooze, you lose." Edward flippantly replied, with a smirk. His green eyes danced with mirth at Alice's anger.

"It's for a good cause." Bella interjected, trying to get the two to move along so they could get a good place for the cakewalk.

"Oh, really? Would you be feeling that way if _Dr. Green Eyes_ were offered up on a platter to Tanya and the rest of the neighborhood harpies?" Bella had to admit, Alice had her there. Seeing Tanya paired up with him at Halloween had not been a good feeling.

"Um, 'Doctor Green eyes'?" Edward asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Bella ordered sternly. Edward emitted a low chuckle when Bella's lips turned down into a deep frown.

"Ha! But Bella, it's for a good cause." Alice mocked with a boisterous laugh.

"What's going on here?" Alice squealed as Jasper came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into his embrace.

"Oh, Alice was just talking about how proud she was that her 'Jazzy' brought in so much moolah." Edward joked, pinching his friend's cheek. Jasper made a face and batted Edward's hand away.

"You're just jealous. You didn't bring in a red cent!" Jasper smugly replied.

"Really?" Edward asked sarcastically. "Do you think people would have been so inclined to part with their cash if I hadn't been such an amazing master of ceremonies?"

"Get over yourself, Doc. Show me one person that bought something because of you?" Jasper rolled his eyes and attempted to pull Alice a bit closer. Edward rose to Jasper's challenge and pointed to the cringing Bella and Alice.

"What? No." Jasper groaned at Alice's Cheshire cat grin.

"Um, I bought a piece of art." Edward and Bella both laughed out loud, earning a quick glare from Alice. Calling the hunk of melted and twisted metal 'art' was being incredibly generous if not an outright lie.

Jasper frowned and shook his head. "And I bought a basket of really strange jellies and jams."

"How strange?" Jasper asked quizzically.

"Kumquat."

"Yikes!" Jasper said, horrified.

"Yeah, such is the power of Edward's voice." Bella sighed dreamily as Edward smirked and Jasper made a retching sound.

"Whatever, it's all for charity so it shouldn't matter why we purchased anything. We should go see how Emmett's doing." Alice said quickly, grabbing Jasper's hand, tugging him away, and closing the door on the conversation.

"So, the sound of my voice opened your wallet? I wonder what else I can get you to open?" Edward crooned suggestively in Bella's ear. She could feel the telltale signs of _Edward paralysis_ coming on. Mindful that they were in a room full of people, some of them children, Bella gathered her strength and managed to push him an arm's length away.

"Save it, mister. There are children present." Bella insisted, placing a hand on his chest. Edward winked and took a hold of her hand, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"Okay, I'll save it, _until_ we're alone." Bella shivered in anticipation at his blatant promise. Edward always made good on his promises.

Music started blaring out of the hall's speaker system, signaling the start of the cake walk, jolting the two out of their haze.

"We should probably go and support Rose." Edward suggested. All Bella could do was nod and follow him across the room.

There was already quite a crowd gathered around the large circle of chairs waiting for the next round to start. Ten chairs set up in a circle with numbers randomly placed on six of them. The numbers coincided with numbers on the various baked goods sitting on the table along the wall. Edward and Bella stood next to Jasper and Alice, waiting for the round to start. Seth and Emily collected the $3.00 entry fee from the waiting crowd and Rose explained the rules.

The music started and the first ten players began vying for the donated desserts. The crowd of onlookers laughed as players good-naturedly pushed each other trying to get a magic number. Edward and Jasper took a turn yielding a batch of coconut brownies for Jasper. Edward got into a mock fight with Max Smiley over a pan of Bella's cherry chocolate brownies. Edward graciously gave up the coveted spot when Bella yelled out that she'd make him his own batch. Max ran off with his prize as Edward watched with envy. Finally, the last round came. Only two cakes were left. Rose's famous Italian buttercream cake was set as the grand prize along with Shelley Cope's lemon bundt cake as second prize. The idea of the last round was that for $5.00 an entry, anyone who had previously won could turn their winnings in and try for the grand prize. Rose had built a lavish decorative display for her seven-layered beauty with a sign proudly declaring it as the 'Grand Prize'. Rose's cake recipe had been a well-guarded secret for years and anyone who'd had the privilege of eating a slice would undoubtedly sing its praises. That is everyone except Shelley Cope. Shelley's cake had just as an illustrious history as Rose's cake and most would declare it a draw between the two for the top praise, hence the rivalry between the two women. Just as the music began to play, there was a loud commotion from the cake display area. Rose and Mrs. Cope were arguing loudly over the placement of their cakes. The lemon bundt had mysteriously replaced Rose's cake on the grandstand and the two women had begun bickering loudly.

"You have thirty-seconds to move that yellow monstrosity, before I make you wear it!"

"Bring it, you overgrown _Barbie Doll_, I've lived through one world war and three husbands, I'm not scared of you!"

"Move it!" Rose demanded, holding her heavy cake over the display while attempting to push Shelley's cake over.

"Make me." The eighty-two-year old senior citizen grabbed her cake plate and held it firmly in place.

Both women squared up against each other, any onlooker could feel the tension of both women as it coiled around the room.

Ever the peacekeeper, Jasper jumped in to attempt a diplomatic end to the squabble. "Ladies, surely we can come to an agreement. Both cakes are amazing. Let's use both as the grand prize." Jasper offered. He took a step back as both women turned their heated gazes on him.

"Jasper, you just moved here so I'm going to give you a pass, stay out of this." Rose ordered menacingly, using her index finger to point at him.

"Yeah, Blondie, this is between me and the_ Amazon_." Shelley sneered.

"C'mon, you're both being ridiculous. Rose, let Shelley have the main stage. It's the polite thing to do." Jasper scolded the glaring woman.

"_Polite_? This old bag has tried to steal my thunder at every neighborhood picnic and bake sale for the last five years and I'm sick of it."

Mrs. Cope laughed evilly at Rose's declaration. "I didn't have to 'steal' anything. Your cake is dry, your baked beans are boring, your lasagna is watery and your 'famous' fried chicken is greasy and tasteless!" A collective gasp went out from the crowd as Shelley drew first blood. Alice and Bella shared a horrified look as Rose's face grew red with anger.

"**No one** disses Grandma Ruth's fried chicken!" Rose screamed, slamming down her giant confection. Globs of cream cheese frosting fell to the table.

"This is ridiculous! You're both acting like children." Jasper shrugged off Alice's retraining hand as she tried to move her clueless boyfriend away from the two feuding women.

"Stay out of this!" Shelley and Rose both screamed at him as globs of white and yellow frosting landed on his face.

"That's it. I'm out!" Jasper declared angrily as buttercream frosting slid down his astonished face.

Somewhere from the gathered crowd someone yelled, "Food Fight!" and suddenly there were pieces of baked goods sailing through the air landing on every available surface.

Edward and Bella scrambled to the side of the hall. "I gotta give the HOA props, there's never a dull moment around here." Edward laughed, dodging a chunk of brownie.

"It didn't used to be this way." Bella lamented. "We used to be so civil."

"You mean boring." Edward interjected with a chuckle.

Bella shook her head and peered out over the cookie and cake-flinging crowd. It was a mess. Sticky and gooey chunks of sugar, butter and chocolate sailed from one end of the room to the other. Children and adults alike were taking part in the chaos.

"It's like a war zone in here!" Bella and Edward turned toward the nasally disapproval coming from behind them where Jane and Alec stood watching the commotion around them.

"This isn't my fault! I can't control everyone's actions." Bella defended herself from Jane's latest accusation.

"Isn't that the job of the HOA President? You're supposed to promote law and order." Jane challenged with a sneer.

"I can't stop two women from fighting over who bakes the best cakes!"

"Then you shouldn't have put them in a situation where that confrontation could happen."

"You know what, Jane, Bella has done a great job bringing fun and comradery to the neighborhood. And I'm tired of you insinuating otherwise." Bella gave an appreciative look in Edward's direction.

"Do not mistake anarchy for comradery." Jane said, before turning away to walk out of the hall.

"Nice talking to you! Hey, if you ever decide you want that stick removed from your ass, let me know. I'll do a two for one special!" Bella's mouth fell open at Edward's yelled offer as many of the fighting crowd stopped lobbing desserts at each other to watch the exchange.

"Well, I never!" A red-faced Jane threw back at Edward.

"That would explain a lot!" Emmett exclaimed as he entered the hall. "Janie, if anyone needs a night of sweaty monkey love, it's you." Bella groaned at Emmett's jest as the rest of the crowd appeared to agree with his suggestion, clapping as Jane and Alec rushed out of the hall.

"Whoa, what the hell happened here?" Emmett asked in amusement as he took in the cake and cookie splattered landscape.

"Rose and Mrs. Cope." Bella answered simply, pointing a finger toward the front of the room where the two women stood among their decimated cakes. Both of them were covered in frosting and cake crumbs.

"Holy shit! Rosie took on Cope? That old lady is fierce." Emmett whistled in amazement at his girlfriend's achievement.

"Where have you been?" Edward asked.

"Oh, I got caught up. I practically had to threaten to burn the booth down to get away. I tell you, there's a very dark and horny underbelly to this neighborhood. My lips are still numb." Edward and Bella laughed at Emmett as he rubbed his chapped lips.

"You were supposed to only give them pecks on the cheek not make their toes curl." Emmett gave Edward a side-eye glance.

"Dude, I only kissed on the cheek," he murmured before adding, "Rosie threatened pieces of my anatomy if I did more. Anyway, I made nearly five-hundred dollars!"

"You kissed 500 people?" Bella asked in amazement.

"What can I say? Everyone wants a piece of Emmett." The smiling man boasted.

"There aren't even 500 people here." Edward stated in disbelief. It was not above Emmett to lie about his popularity with the ladies.

"I had A LOT of repeats." Emmett boasted with a satisfied smirk and an eyebrow waggle.

"I guess that would explain the numb lips." Bella mused.

"It _**doesn't**_ explain why you smell like Ben-Gay and Red Door perfume." Edward laughed.

"Dude, don't go there." Emmett warned with a shudder.

Once the hall was scoured of the remnants from _The Great Cake Massacre_, the group was pleased to discover that they had raised nearly three-thousand dollars towards the band uniforms.

On the fourteenth, the neighborhood recovered from their fundraising endeavors and celebrated Valentine's Day on their own. Jasper promised to make Alice his apprentice when he fulfilled his commitment to Lauren and Emmett, with help from Rose was finally able to get the blood flowing back to his lips. As promised, Edward wore his tux when he served Bella a romantic Valentine's Day dinner, he'd made himself.

* * *

**Until next time, stay safe! **

**ruinedbyrob**


	8. Chapter-March

**Ready for some St. Patrick's Day goofiness? I hope so!**

**Thank you to all who have reviewed. You're the fuel that keeps my train chugging along!**

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**March**

**March 10****th**

**Forks Valley Facebook Group**

**EMc2**_**-**__"Remember, the party bus pulls __out precisely__ at __6__:00PM, from the HOA Hall parking lot on Friday the 13th. We only have room for 45 people and there are already 39 signed up. So, if you're still thinking about doing the awesome St. Patrick's pub crawl that our very own Bella Swan has meticulously planned out for us, get off the fence and get on the bus!"_

**JessStanley**_**-"**__ EMc2-"Woohoo! Party!"_

**EMc2**-" JessStanley- _That's the spirit! It's going to be a great time!"_

**TanAlltheTIme**-" EMc2-_Will there be adult beverages on the bus?"_

**EMc2-"**_ TanAlltheTime-No alcohol will be provided by the HOA."_

**CoolGmaCope-"** EMC2-Nuts!"

"It's very important that we leave at the correct time." Emmett rolled his eyes as Bella went over her itinerary for what felt like the fiftieth time.

"B, would you relax? We'll go as soon as everyone gets here." Emmett made a grab for Bella's bright pink clipboard, but was thwarted when she ducked under his arm and headed for the front door of the bus.

"Excuse me," Bella said, tapping on the blue bus's door. As soon as the driver opened up, Bella began her speech at rapid speed. "Have you checked traffic? We need to be at _Grand Daddy's_ by 6:30PM and then back on the road no later than 8PM on our way to the next stop. You should try to park as close as you can to each venue so we can-hey, are you getting this?" Bella's question was cut off as the bus driver rolled her eyes and shut the door. "Hey, how can you hear me with the door closed?"

"B, give me the damn, clipboard!" Emmett demanded, attempting to grab the offensive piece of pressed board.

"Mine!" Bella screeched, leaping to the side, clutching her beloved clipboard to her chest.

"You need to relax. He'll make it and he'll find us." Emmett assured the wound up, woman. Bella pursed her lips together and glared at the big man standing before her.

"He'd better or it's on you!" Bella warned before getting on the bus.

"Dude, I haven't seen her like this in a long time." Jasper pointed to the agitated woman glaring at them through the bus window.

"Yeah, Edward's work schedule is really wreaking havoc on the whole 'loosen up Bella' plan." Jasper nodded at Emmett's fact drop. Edward had been working six days a week for the last three weeks since the hospital in Port Angeles had lost two pediatric doctors and needed him to fill in. He hadn't been able to spend more than an hour or so with Bella in 10 days. When Edward left the hospital tonight, he'd have a two-day break and had promised Bella he'd meet them all in Port Angeles at their last stop, _London Underground_, a bar that was right off the interstate that Edward would be driving by on his way back to Forks. He'd then drive Bella home so they could spend a little time together before he'd inevitably fall asleep for a large chunk of his time off before heading back to the hospital.

To say the least, Bella was a bit antsy to see him.

"Hey, Dimples, are we going to get this show on the road or what? Swan is freaking out." Shelley Cope called out from the front door of the bus. Jasper and Emmett laughed at the older woman. From the plastic green hat to the pointed toe green leather shoes with gold buckles. Mrs. Cope was decked out from head to toe in Shamrock green. Even her lipstick was green.

"Last one in has to sit next to _Lucky the leprechaun._" Jasper laughed and took off for the bus.

"Damn!" Emmett took off after him.

"That's it. Swing it sister," Rose called to Alice as the small brunette twirled and bumped to the music blaring from the speakers while Tanya and Lauren spun on the poles at the front of the bar, _Paddy's Pub_. The group was on their way to the third bar in their five-pub stop. All but one partygoer would agree, that the HOA's pub-crawl was a smashing success. So far everyone was getting along and having a great time. But, much to Bella's irritation, the group was nearly an hour behind schedule with two more pubs to go.

"Woo hoo!" Alice hooted, slapping Tanya's pushed out butt as she rushed past.

"Girl, you need a drink!" Rose pushed a giant sippy cup filled with orange juice and champagne in Bella's face.

"I'm good." Bella gave a tight-lipped smile and pushed the cup away.

"That's the last thing you are." Rose said, plopping down into the seat next to her, taking a giant sip out of her cup.

"Lighten up, Buttercup you're harshing my mellow!" A clearly inebriated Mrs. Cope commented as she rushed past them to get in line for her turn on the dancer's pole.

"Oh my God, did I just get flashed by an eighty-one -year old woman?" Rose nodded and giggled as Alice dropped into her lap. "That is soooo not right."

"You wanna see something really scary, look over there." Rose pointed to the front of the bar where Emmett, Jasper and Mike Newton were by the pole, trying to dance to the _Magic Mike_ soundtrack now blaring through the pub's speakers.

"I don't know what you're calling 'scary'; my man looks gooood on that stage." Alice slurred, waving at the gyrating Jasper. "You go, baby. Gonna get you a corner and make me some money!" Jasper winked and shook his butt in her direction.

"My man could make more than yours! Em, take your shirt off, momma needs a new _Louis_ bag!" Emmett whipped off his shirt that read _**Kiss Me I'm Irish (and a really good kisser)**_,and began gyrating his hips wildly to the delight of the hooting crowd.

Bella swiped her phone open, frowning as the time showed, they'd fallen another thirty-minutes behind. "We have to go." Bella yelled in Rose's direction. Rose waived her off and continued clapping for Emmett, who ignored her.

In a huff, Bella got up from the table and pushed her way through the celebrating crowd to the stage.

"Emmett!" she yelled. "Emmett! We have to go!" Bella pointed at her watch grimly and held up her clipboard. Emmett grinned and danced over to the edge of the stage, grabbed her clipboard and threw it across the stage.

"B! Join us!" He urged.

"No! We have to go!" Emmett shook his head, pointing to his ear as if to say he couldn't hear her and continued his wild dance. Bella stomped her foot at his antics and attempted to grab Emmett's pant leg. She got up on her tippy toes and climbed halfway up onto the stage, attempting to gain his attention. Mike, Jasper and Emmett closed in around Bella as she struggled to grab onto Emmett's leg.

"Alright, Swan!" Newton exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air to the music before reaching down to grab her hand, pulling her up to her feet to stand in front of him. Jasper and Emmett enclosed her on her side and back. The trio formed a hip checking, groin thrusting and head bobbing triangle.

"Shake it Swannie!" Jasper cheered.

"Nothing wrong with a little bump n' grind!" Emmett proclaimed, as he moved to stand up against Bella's back, effectively bumping and grinding on her.

The HOA revelers as well as most of the bar patrons whooped and hollered as the three men danced around the stone-faced woman.

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at the men currently putting on a Chippendale's show around her. "We're behind schedule!" Bella yelled, to the trio but was ignored as the three men gave up on cajoling her to join in with their dancing and moved on. Bella watched as they pulled several of the HOA women up on stage to dance with them. Bella huffed, picking up her rudely tossed and now broken clipboard and stomped off stage, acting every inch the tightly wound woman they accused her of being. She pushed her way through the loud bar and out into the parking lot. _Paddy's Pub_ was one of many bars on the same block celebrating the night. The music and the celebratory noise bounced off every surface as Bella got out her phone and texted Edward.

"_We're behind schedule. Emmett's drunk and dancing on the stage." -B_

She paced impatiently as she waited for his reply.

"_Emmett + stage + dancing is NEVER a good thing. If he still has his shirt on, you might be okay…"-E_

"_His shirt is gone. He__** destroyed**__ my clipboard. We're over an hour behind schedule!"-B_

"_You're screwed! Do what you can; I'm due to leave the hospital in an hour."-E_

Bella read his message and frowned. She knew tonight's plan had a snowball's chance in Hell from working when she'd set out tonight. Nevertheless, she had pressed onward, hopeful that this one time, the community would keep to her timetable because they knew how important it was to her. Bella quickly did the math on her head and calculated that if they skipped the last bar, they could get to _London Underground _by the prearranged time.

As soon as she entered the bar, Bella made a beeline for Rose and Alice's table. "Can you guys help me get everyone on the bus?" Neither woman acknowledged her request, as they encouraged their men up on stage. Bella left their table and tried to appeal to Lauren and Tanya. Bella moved from table to table, growing more and more discouraged as each group waived her off.

With another look at her phone, her face fell at the sight. Edward would already be on the road and the chances of meeting him were getting smaller.

Bella sent out a quick text. _"I don't think we're going to make it." -B_

She felt stupid for the tears that were running down her cheeks. It's not as if Edward was going overseas and she wouldn't see him for months. It just felt that way.

Bella's phone chimed with Edward's response.

"_I'm sorry, Cookie. I'm absolutely exhausted or I'd track you all down. I'll catch up with you sometime tomorrow before I have to head back to the hospital."-E_

She brushed the tears from her cheeks and typed out her reply.

"_Drive safely and sleep well. I love you."- B_

"_Love you too."-E_

Bella sighed deeply and walked back into the bar, resigned to the fact that she'd be spending the rest of the night with her drunken friends and neighbors rather than her gorgeous, smart, sweet and sexy boyfriend.

"Tequila!" Bella called out to the waitress as she plopped down into the empty chair at Rose and Alice's table. The two women glanced over at their friend and then to each other. Bella slammed down the empty shot glass onto the table with an audible 'clunk',before sucking on the lime and tossing it into the empty glass. "Another," she said to the waitress. "Wait, bring me two more. I have some catching up to do." The server nodded and walked off to fulfill the order.

"Um, Bella don't you think you should start off a little slo-"Bella shot Alice a sharp glare.

"-Don't." Bella warned, holding up a finger. "I've stayed sober all night so I could meet up with my sexy as hell boyfriend and rock his socks off until he passed out from exhaustion. But thanks to _all_ of _you_ blowing off my schedule, that's not going to happen now, so screw you all!"

"But tequila?" Alice persisted. "You know what tequila does to you." It was a long-held truth the liquid derived from the blue agave plant burned down the walls Bella built up around her. But it tended to also burn down everything she came into contact with along the way.

"I know _exactly_ what tequila does to me!" Rose and Alice shared another glance as the server came back, setting down two more shots. Bella didn't spare her friends a glance as she downed the fiery liquid.

Forty-five minutes later Bella's hair was loose; her green blouse was unbuttoned and tied tightly in a knot between her breasts, baring her midriff. Her hips were swaying to the bass and treble of Christina Aguilera's _Candyman_ while Rose and Alice acted as her background dancers. Jasper, Emmett and Mike had relinquished the stage and were cheering from right in front of the stage.

"_He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop__  
__He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman (oh yeah)__  
__A sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman__"_

Bella, Alice and Rose popped their hips and moved their shoulders and hands sensuously to the music. Soon, Lauren, Tanya, Jessica and even Mrs. Cope joined them on stage for a song.

"Everyone on the busssss!" Bella slurred. She was hanging on Emmett's back, waving everyone onto the waiting bus. "C'mon people! The night is still young."

The party never stopped as the bus drove them to their last stop. There was another bus in the parking lot as well as a dozen or so cars crammed into the small lot.

The group entered the bar a little worse for wear than they'd started the night but still raring to go. Although a few of their party had slowed down a bit, Jessica and Angela were leaning heavily on each other, while Mrs. Cope and Mr. Bauer were snoring in the back of the bus as the rest of the group headed into the crowded pub.

They all headed over to their reserved tables and the revelry continued. There was no elevated stage with dancing poles at this bar, but they did have a karaoke machine set up. Since her plans had gone up in smoke, Bella had thrown herself completely into embracing the theme of drunkenness and merriment.

"Holy shit! I've never seen B like this!" Emmett exclaimed, putting his arm around Rose as Bella and Alice picked another song out of the karaoke catalog.

"Oh, this is _Tequila Bella_. She only comes out when Bella is depressed. This Edward thing has really been hard on her."

"Hmmm, as much fun as _Tequila Bella_ is, I can't have my Little B, so upset. I guess we'll have to fix that."

"And just how do you propose to do that?" Emmett grinned at her and pointed to the corner just behind the mock stage.

Halfway through _Wannabe_ by the Spice Girls Emmett tapped Bella on the shoulder.

"I wanna, I wanna, I wan-Oh my God!" Bella dropped her mic and jumped into Edward's open arms.

The music continued to blare as the couple embraced hotly on the stage.

"You're here! You're really here!" Bella placed wet kisses all over his face as Edward hoisted her legs up around his hips.

"Well, I was in the neighborhood so I figure- "Bella didn't let him finish. She mashed her lips to his and kissed him possessively while the entire bar encouraged them with hollering and clapping.

"I thought you were too tired to meet us?" Bella pulled back to look into the green eyes she'd missed so much over the last three weeks.

"I got a call from your protégé," he said, pointing to Emmett. "And was told that there was a really fun loving, gorgeous brunette putting on quite a show and that I just had to mee hert." Edward grinned.

"I've been drinking." She admitted sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah? How much?" Edward asked, holding back his laughter.

"A little." She admitted, holding her index finger and thumb about an inch apart.

"From the looks of your glassy eyes, and slurred speech, I'd say you've had more than a little." He laughed as she moved her thumb and finger further apart.

"Tequila." Bella explained.

"I see." Bella wiggled a little further up onto his hips.

"Whoa, baby. I don't want to give everyone a show." Edward winked. Bella's eyes widened as she looked down and noticed he was wearing one of his kilts.

"Are you nekkid underneath there?" Bella whispered/yelled.

"Show us your balls!" Emmett yelled, as Edward flipped him off behind Bella's back.

Edward lowered his red-faced girlfriend to the floor, keeping his arms around her as they left the karaoke area to join their friends as the music started back up.

The HOA group regaled Edward with stories from their night, all telling him how much they'd wished he'd been able to join them. He listened good-naturedly while sipping on a Sprite, attempting to keep Bella's hands from wandering under his kilt.

"Cookie, drink the water or you won't stay awake. We have plans later." He pushed the glass back into her hands as she giggled and pinched his naked thigh.

"So, Edward, are you a _rea_l Scotsman or what?" Tanya leered at him over her Long Island iced tea.

"He's Irish _and_ Scottish. You keep your beady little eyes to yourself!" Bella snapped.

"Possessive, Bella is hot!" Edward whispered, kissing her neck, ignoring Tanya.

"You ready to go?" He asked. Bella nodded enthusiastically before scrambling off his lap to grab her coat.

They linked hands and Bella began pulling him towards the door.

"Whooooo-hoooo! You go girl! Get you some!" Once again, Edward flipped Emmett off behind his back, as they left the bar.

"Will they be okay?" Edward asked, pointing to the bus.

"Yeah, yeah, forget them," Bella ordered. "I believe we have plans?"

"I do believe you are right." Edward waggled his eyebrows and quickly got into the car.

**Forks Valley HOA Facebook **

**EMc2**_-"Big thanks to the HOA crew for a rocking St. Patrick's Day! I had no idea there were so many talented people living in the neighborhood. Share your highlights of the night in the comments. I'll go first. Watching my lady belt out Black Velvet was amazing!"_

**RosalieHale**_**-**__" EMc2-Awww, that's so sweet! Thanks babe. I loved watching my monkey man, twirl on that pole."_

**mAlice**_**-**__" RosalieHale- Don't forget my Jazzybear! He worked that pole like a pro!"_

**JWhit**-_" mAlice- Thanks for the plug, but ummmmm."_

**mAlice-**_" JWhit-Oooops! Sorry. Is semi-pro, better?"_

**JWhit-**_" mAlice- Not really. But I love that you tried."_

**JaneJackson-**_"I want to know which one of you drunks vomited on my front porch!"_

**MNewton**_-" JaneJackson- How do you know one of us did it?" _

**JaneJackson**_-" MNewton- Who else would have done it?"_

**BenRocks-**_" JaneJackson- It could have been an animal."_

**AWeber**_-" JaneJackson- Maybe it was a dog?"_

**TheREALJackBauer**_-" JaneJackson-I heard there was a coyote sighting up on Capote Dr."_

**JaneJackson-**_" TheREALJackBauer- It wasn't a coyote! It was one of you drunken degenerates!" _

** CoolGmaCope**_-" JaneJackson- It was a full moon last night, Maybe it was a werewolf?"_

* * *

**Soooo, what did you think of _Tequila Bella_?**** To this day, tequila is the only shot I can handle. Quervo Gold is my favorite poison. What's yours?**

**Stay safe and I'll see you soon!**

**ruinedbyrob**


	9. Chapter-April

**Happy Easter! Here's a little extra for you Easter basket. I hope you enjoy it.  
Please leave me a little love with a review.**

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**April**

**April 8th- Two weeks before Easter. **

Forks Valley HOA FB

**EMc2**-"_HOA Easter Egg Hunt will be the Saturday morning before Easter Sunday, at 10AM. Plan to join us for prizes and lots of candy!"_

** WolfmanJake**_-"Is there an age limit for this thing?"_

** LClearwater**_-" WolfmanJake- I'm pretty sure you're too old."_

** WolfmanJake**_-" Lclearwater- You don't know!"_

** LClearwater**_**-**__" WolfmanJake- Everyone knows that!"_

** SmanB**-_" LClearwater- Not me. I was thinking of joining."_

** WolfmanJake**_-"LClearwater- See?"_

** LClearwater**_**-**__" WolfmanJake-He doesn't count."_

** WolfmanJake**_-" LClearwater-Why?"_

** LClearwater**_**-**__" WolfmanJake- Because he's your __brother__. Duh!"_

** EmilyClearwater**_**-**__" WolfmanJake-Yeah, Jake. Get over it."_

** WolfmanJake**_**-**__" LClearwater-In the eyes of the law, I'm a minor. I want in!"_

**SmanB**_**-**__"If Jake is in. I want in!_

** AlexSmiley**_-"Me too!"_

** MaxSmiley**_-"Me too!"_

** EmilyClearwater**_-"Me too!"_

** LClearwater-**_" EmilyClearwater- et tu, EMILY?!"_

**IsabellaMSwan**_-"STOP fighting! If you're 12 yrs old or over, you're too old to participate."_

** EMc2**-"_But, I already got a bunny suit."_

_**~~~The day before Easter **_

"I think the weather is going to turn out to be good. So, that's a bonus." Alice shrugged her shoulders and dipped another egg into the green dye.

"Thank goodness. I'll take any kind of luck at this point." Bella looked up from her clipboard and counted the fresh batch of painted eggs, adding them to her total.

"C'mon, it's been pretty quiet lately." Rose observed.

"Only because this is the first event since the St. Patrick's Day debacle." Bella rolled her eyes, thinking about the fall-out from that event that had landed all over her.

"Your man shows up in a kick-ass kilt looking sexy A.F. and all you want to do is remember that Jane got a little vomit on her porch? Girly, you need to rearrange your priorities!" Bella had to chuckle. Alice was right about one thing, Edward had looked sexy as hell in his kilt and he'd managed to stay awake just long enough for her to get him out of said kilt when they got home that night. She wasn't completely sober and he was exhausted, but both of them pushed through to a satisfying end.

"I love to see that grin on your face." Bella reddened at her friend's assumption, but she wouldn't dare deny the implication of her statement. Bella was in love.

Shaking her head from the murky depths of her not so clean thoughts of Edward, she got back to her egg counting.

"Stop distracting me. I have eggs to count!" Alice chuckled and dropped another egg into a glass of dye.

**~~~Later that night**

"Three hundred and thirty-six dyed eggs, seven hundred and twenty-five plastic eggs with candy…Wait! Will that be enough?" Bella asked herself, tapping her pen on the granite counter top as she calculated the egg to child ratio in her head. Edward had been watching her go over her lists undetected for nearly fifteen minutes. It was two-thirty in the morning. He'd awoken to find his warm and snugly bed companion gone. The light shining down the hallway and the sound of Bella talking to herself, had lured him from his sleep. He padded down the polished floor in his bare feet to rest against the counter-top adjacent from where Bella had taken up residence at the breakfast bar with her binder and lists piled around her.

"I've got three extra bags of candy in reserve, just in case. But what if more kids show up? What if no one shows up and then I have to get rid of all of this stuff? What if those rotten Anderson kids get there first and gobble up everything? Then the-"

"-Then, you'll whip out your reserve candy and everything will be fine." Bella dropped her pen and looked up to see Edward chuckling at her from across the kitchen.

"I didn't hear you come in." She said, licking her lips as she scanned him head to toe. Edward was bare chested, wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants that looked to be hanging onto his hips by the barest of margins. His iliac crest stood out prominently against his lean waist, forming that perfect V that made smart girls stupid. Bella's eyes, already glazed from reviewing her notes for the last hour and a half, started to water as her gaze traveled down the trail of dark hair that started just under his navel to disappear into the top of his pants.

"You were a little preoccupied. Don't you think it's time to put all of this away and come back to bed?" Bella automatically began to agree with his suggestions as one does when the person making the suggestion is one Edward Anthony Cullen , but caught herself.

"No. I, I can't! This has to go off perfectly." Her dark eyes implored him to understand. Edward sighed. He knew that she was worried about the election next month. Despite Jane being an impossible, snobby, uptight shrew who saw fault in everything, other neighbors had expressed their concern over the problems that had occurred during the neighborhood events as well as the overall changes in the way the neighborhood since Bella had loosened up her management style. It wasn't anarchy, as Jane would have people believe, but garbage cans routinely stayed out past the prescribed time they were supposed to be rolled up the driveway and hidden away, Halloween pumpkins and Christmas lights were displayed longer than the HOA rules allowed, and pets seemed to roam freely more than usual. However, these were all items that in the past Bella had been ridiculed for being so rigid about. Now, she was being less rigid and still taking flack, while Jane Jackson stood by and pointed out every infraction.

"Babe, it will be fine. This can all wait until morning."

"No. This is all on me! I can't fail. It's got to be perfect." Bella rattled off before going back to her lists.

"This is ridiculous! It's an Easter egg hunt for little kids. They're going to love everything that happens tomorrow, regardless of whether your lists are followed to the letter or not. Expecting things to be perfect is insanity." Bella's head shot up. She fixed the gorgeous, half-naked man standing in her kitchen with a crazed stare. Edward didn't give an inch, he wasn't going to back down to this craziness. He'd just have to distract her.

"Are you kidding me? Perfection is the _only_ option. Jane will be there and she'll be watching. And after she watches, she'll start dissecting every little thing before she scuttles off to tell her minions and then, they'll get together and rip me apart on Facebook, and then they'll talk about how I've allowed the neighborhood to fall into chaos and then…" Bella's voice dropped as Edward lazily ran a hand up his bare chest to rest at his neck, where he gave a light squeeze to the coiled muscles. Her gaze left his neck to follow the hard line of his firm bicep as he continued to massage his muscles.

Edward forced the knowing smirk back and looked at her through his long lashes. He knew she was caught in his trap. "I know it's been hard on you, and believe me I don't want to make things harder," he used his voice to lure her in further before setting her up for the kill. "But I'm worried about you." He dragged his hand through his hair, knowing how much she liked it when he left it wild.

"You're not eating." His hand stroked his stubbled jaw in thought.

"I ate tonight." She muttered, her eyes never leaving his hand's trajectory.

"You picked at your salad," he said, moving his hands to rest on the counter-top behind him. The move thrust his hips out, causing the barely hanging on sweatpants to lower just a little more so she could see the top of his rounded ass cheek peeking out the side.

"You're not sleeping." Bella opened her mouth with a denial, but clamped it shut when he pointed at the clock that read 2:55 in the morning.

"Come back to bed. I want to hold my beautiful girl while I sleep." He held his hand out in invitation.

Bella automatically pushed back from the breakfast bar, leaving her copious notes and highlighters behind as she walked over to where her tempter stood attempting to hide his satisfied grin. He took her hand and pulled her in so he could put both of his arms around her to rest on her hips.

"Don't think that I don't know what you're doing. You're tempting me to leave my HOA duties with your sex appeal. Very sneaky." Bella murmured before placing a kiss in the space between his pecs. She laid her head on his chest, reveling in the steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his arms.

Edward chuckled, tightening his arms around her. "It worked." He stated matter-of- factly.

"I'm afraid it always will." Bella sighed.

"Is that a bad thing?" Edward asked, realizing that she had said forever and hoped she meant it.

Bella rubbed her cheek against his soft chest hair, inhaling his unique scent. "No. Not at all."

"Edward."

"Yes, baby?" Edward's husky voice sent shivers down Bella's spine.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever." Without another word, Edward lifted his grinning girlfriend up into his arms and carried her back to bed. He wasn't going to lose her. Ever.

**~~~~Easter Morning**

"Okay, do you all have an equal share of the real _and_ candy eggs?" The four teens and two-preteens looked at their baskets and then looked at each other.

"Um, yeah?" Jacob uttered with a shrug. None of them had counted out their treasures before shoving them into their baskets for hiding. Bella's shoulders fell as she took in her group of helpers.

"If you didn't count then how will you know if they've all been found?"

"Don't you have a master count?" Leah asked.

Bella's eyes narrowed on the tall dark-haired girl. "Of course I have a master count! That won't tell me if all of the eggs from your individual region have been found. Okay, everyone dump out their baskets! We're going to recount everything." Seth, Alex, Max and Emily all took a step back as Bella's voice went up in pitch.

"Bella, I don't think that's necessary." Alice tried to be the voice of reason as Bella made a grab for the nearest basket. Alex let it go immediately, his eyes wide in fear. "Oh my God, would you look at yourself? You're scaring the kid!" Bella spared a glance at Alex before grabbing his basket.

"He's fine." She said, nonchalantly proceeding to dump out the eggs. Alice shook her head as she watched her frazzled friend grab the basketful of eggs right out of Emily's hands.

"Go get Edward." Alice told Max. The boy rushed off at a dead run to find him.

"Ninety-six candy eggs, sixty-five dyed eggs." Bella marked the numbers down on her pad and reached for the next basket only to have it pulled out of her reach.

"What the?" She looked up into Edward's amused face.

"I thought we discussed this?" He asked. Bella rolled her eyes and reached up to tighten her ponytail.

"We did. And I said I would throttle back." She crossed her arms over her chest, defiantly .

"You call this throttled back?"

"Yes."

Edward let out a sigh. He had hoped that their conversation this morning and the subsequent sexual interlude would have relaxed Bella enough to keep her from this frantic and unnecessary egg grab. It appeared she needed another session.

"Babe, why don't we go for a little walk and let the kids hide the eggs." His eyes smoldered with his intent as he held out his hand to her.

"Oh no, you don't," Bella exclaimed, moving a couple feet back from him, waving her finger in his direction. "Don't you flash your _sex me up_ eyes and try to get me to forget my mission. I am on to you and your wicked ways." Bella reached into her pocket and solemnly pulled out her grandmother's pearls and clasped them snugly around her neck. Edward laughed aloud at her show.

"Are your pearls supposed to be my kryptonite?" He asked with a smirk, reaching out to flick the shiny strand of orbs.

"I prefer to think of them as more my strength than your weakness. But whatever works." She shrugged and shot him a grin. Edward looked to Alice and the teens still gathered around them.

"I'm out guys. You're on your own." He handed over the basket and leaned down to whisper in Bella's ear. "Have I told you how sexy you look in your pearls?"

"Not today." Bella exhaled loudly as he kissed a line from her ear down her cheek before landing on her lips. Max and Alex shared a horrified glance, while Emily and Leah sighed in unison as Seth and Jacob made lewd kissing noises.

"Ugh, keep it PG you two!" Alice admonished, pretending to gag. Bella and Edward pulled apart laughing.

"Promise me you'll wear the pearls later." Edward whispered, placing one more kiss on her neck before winking at the group and walking back to where Jasper and Emmett waited.

"Wow." Leah sighed dreamily, watching Edward walk away.

"Yeah." Emily echoed her sister's sentiment.

"Yuck!" Max and Alex said in unison.

"I see you've gotten over your PDA hang-up." Alice asserted with a raised eyebrow. Bella ignored her, ducked her heated face and resumed her counting.

"As soon as our egg hiders are all back, we'll release the ribbon and you all can set out." A round of applause boomed over the foggy grounds as parents and their children waited for the egg hunt to begin.

"Everyone looks so cute with their Easter baskets." Rose gushed.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked. Rose wasn't known to be a 'kid person'. Her remark surprised Bella.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, you're standing there in a pink skirt, a pink shirt with white Keds and bunny ears. You hate the color pink, you loathe 'mom shoes' and bunny ears? It's not really your style." Alice's keen eyes took a quick inventory of Rose's outfit.

"These shoes are really comfortable." Rose answered, her eyes narrowed in warning.

"You don't like kids." Rose's face turned red.

"Oh. My. God! You're pregna-" Rose's hand clamped down over Alice's mouth at the speed of light. But it was too late. Her voice had already alerted many of the gathered crowd.

"No!" Rose hissed, shoving Alice behind the nearest tree, Bella followed.

Alice pried Rose's hand from her mouth and fixed their blushing friend with an icy stare. "What the hell?"

Rose sighed and looked nervously around; making sure that no one was within earshot. "Look, I was late. I took a test. It was negative, and I was sad. I started thinking about what it would be like to have a child with Emmett." Her eyes softened as she thought of a dark-haired chubby baby with Emmett's dimples.

"Wow. That's huge." Alice breathed out in surprise as Bella nodded in agreement. Rose had put off having children in her first marriage. She had wanted them established in their careers before they thought about children. Rose assumed that Royce was fine with that and threw herself into supporting him as well as starting her real estate career. It turned out that, among other things, Royce was not okay with putting off having children. He'd had no problem having a daughter with his mistress. Rose took that betrayal the hardest, thinking it was her resistance to motherhood that drove him into another woman's arms.

"It's different this time. Everything about this relationship is different. I know without a doubt that Emmett would never cheat on me. I've never questioned his love for me since the moment he said the words. I want it all with him." Rose looked out towards the commons, smiling when her eyes landed on the object of her affection.

Alice and Bella's gazes traveled the same route, and both girls nodded in agreement with Rose's statement.

"I'm going to ask Jazzy to marry me." Alice admitted with a dreamy grin on her face.

"You go girl!" Rose high-fived the still grinning Alice.

"When?" Bella asked.

"His birthday is August 10th. I'm thinking of doing it then."

"I think Emmett bought a ring." Rose blurted out.

"Really?" Alice asked the beaming Rose.

"Yeah, he's really bad about putting his clean clothes away. He prefers to root around in the clean clothes basket like a grizzly bear searching for honey. So, I would put them away, you know, like a civilized person," she said, rolling her eyes. "About a month ago, he started putting his underwear away. **Just. His. Underwear**. Everything else is piled up as haphazardly as usual. He doesn't want me in that drawer." As Alice and Rose gushed over their men, Bella stood quietly off to the side. Edward's and her one-year anniversary was coming up on July fourth. They hadn't even moved in together much less talked about getting married. Bella was as sure as Alice was that Jasper wouldn't hesitate to walk down the aisle with her and Emmett _had_ already purchased a ring for Rosalie, yet she and Edward seemed to be three steps behind them. Bella had to wonder why and if it was her fault.

"Hey, whatever you're thinking that's making your eyebrows crinkle like that, stop." Rose put her arm across Bella's shoulders, giving her a little hug. "Everyone's relationship moves at its own pace." Rose assured, already understanding where Bella's thoughts were leading.

"Exactly," Alice chimed in. "Rose and I have done this before. We know what we had sucked and what we have now is amazing. Neither one of us is letting go." Bella understood what Alice was trying to say. Even having never been married before, Bella knew that she'd never want anyone else other than Edward. Now she wondered if he felt the same.

"I said to stop that crap! He thinks the sun rises and sets in your butt crack. He's _not going anywhere_. You two just need to get away for a while. Away from his job and away from this nut house HOA and just be together." Rose's mention of the HOA, broke into Bella's thoughts like Thor's hammer.

"Dammit! The egg hunt!" Bella rushed off leaving her two friends shaking their heads at her retreating form.

"Where have you been?" Emmett asked in a high pitch as he pointed to the dozens of hyped up children lined up behind him.

"What are you wearing?" Bella asked, stunned at the sight before her.

"You like it? My Aunt Chris made it for me." Emmett said proudly displaying the fluffy pink onesie complete with bunny slippers, floppy bunny ears atop his pink hood and a giant fuzzy cottontail affixed to his ass.

"It's um, you look-" For possibly the first time in her life, Bella couldn't find the words to describe what was prancing around in front of her.

"You look like a pink nightmare." Edward announced bluntly. Emmett shot him an angry look.

"Dude, a little respect. My aunt made it."

"Does she hate you?" Jasper chuckled as Emmett turned his angry eyes towards him.

"No, smart ass. She adores me. I asked her to make it."

"Why would you _do_ that?" Max asked in horror. Emmett turned to the group of gathered teens. Jake, Seth, Emily, Leah, Alex and Max were all laughing at his expense.

"I think he looks adorable." Rose sauntered over and tugged on Em's fuzzy pink hood so she could plant a loud kiss on his puckered lips."

"Suck on that, twerps!" Emmett waggled his eyebrows at the boy's open-mouthed gazes.

"Daddy, why is the pink lady chewing on the Easter bunny's face?" Little Tyler Brookes asked his clearly amused father.

"Um, maybe she's hungry?" Don Brookes chuckled, taking his four-year old son's hand and moving him away from the couple's overt display of affection. 

* * *

**Next up, the election!**

**Stay safe!**

**ruinedbyrob**


	10. Chapter May

**Here you go, the chapter we've all been waiting for. Enjoy and I'll meet you at the bottom. **

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**May**

May, 01.

**Forks Valley HOA FB**

**EMc2-"**_Just a couple of things: There are still about thirty real eggs missing from the Easter egg hunt. I know neighborhood dogs have found a few, and I'm thinking that the rest have probably been eaten by other animals as well. Just in case, be a little careful when you fire up your lawnmowers this season. If they are still out there, they're going to smell to high heaven. I also want to remind everyone that the HOA election will take place on Monday, the 13__th__ in the HOA common room. I know we usually hold the meetings in the grand comfort of Casa de Swan, but someone in the neighborhood demanded it be moved. So, bring your own snacks and get ready to sit on the hard-folding chairs, instead of munching on President Swan's delectable desserts and sitting on her comfy couches and chairs. Voting starts promptly at 7:30 and ends at 8:30. See you there!"_

**TheREALJackBauer**-_" EMc2- You're kidding about the eggs right?"_

**EMc2**_**-"**__ TheREALJackBauer-Unfortunately, no. The hiding crew can't remember where they hid all of their eggs. So watch out" _

**JaneJackson-"**_ EMc2- Why wasn't anyone counting the eggs? If someone steps on or runs one over the smell will be horrible."_

**EMc2-"**_ JaneJackson- That's why I said to be CAREFUL! And we were counting the eggs, that's how we know some are still missing."_

**JaneJackson-**_" EMc2- That's unacceptable! You've put the health of the whole neighborhood at risk." _

**CassieMillerRN-**_" JaneJackson-No one's health is at risk. Yes, it will smell, but as long as you DON'T EAT one, you'll be fine."_

**VictoriaSells-**_"Janejackson- I agree with you. This neighborhood's reputation has really fallen short lately."_

**RosalieHale-**_" JaneJackson, VictoriaSells- This neighborhood is and always has been a great place to live! Stop making it sound as if Bella is doing a bad job!" _

**JaneJackson-**_" RosalieHale-Bias much? No one can dispute that there have been several offenses of the HOA rules that have gone unpunished, not to mention the misconduct that's occurred at these so-called neighborhood get-togethers."_

**mAlice-**_" JaneJackson-Talk about bias! You've done NOTHING but criticize Bella and Emmett's attempts to plan fun things for the community. And we all know you're only making a big deal about it because you're trying to push Bella out!"_

**AWeber-**_" mAlice- Exactly!"_

**TanyaDenali-**_" JaneJackosn- I agree. Bella appears to be preoccupied with her boyfriend and hasn't been putting the HOA first. Jane, you'll be getting my vote"_

**VictoriaSells-**_" JaneJackson-Mine too."_

**LaurenMallory-**_"JaneJackson-Me too."_

**CoolGmaCope-**_"Not mine!"_

Emmett glanced at Bella. Her eyes were closed and her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. Edward's arm was around her shoulders protectively. Alice and Jasper were seated to her left. Their faces somber. The final vote had just been counted and Jane Jackson was declared the new President of the Forks Valley HOA.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Emmett whispered. Rose patted his knee, trying to comfort the disappointed man.

"It's not your fault." Bella whispered. Emmett wasn't convinced.

The HOA hall was abuzz over the election. While the crowd looked to be even with Jane and Bella supporters, Jane had won by a surprising, twelve-percent margin. Many of them stopped to say something to Bella on their way out of the building.

"_Sorry, I just can't stand watching that old man mow his lawn without a shirt on anymore."_

"_I'm tired of having to dodge Banner's damn trash cans."_

"You completely ignored my complaints about the hummingbirds in my garden!" Mrs. Mitchell griped.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Bella answered automatically as people voiced their criticisms. Not all who stopped were complaining. Many voiced their support. Bella smiled and thanked everyone who stopped.

"Let's go home." Edward stood up and offered Bella his hand. The group gathered their things and walked towards the exit. Bella's friends fell into a protective stance around her as they moved.

They'd just about made it to the door when Jane's annoying voice rang out, "Oh, Bella. I'll expect to have the HOA golf cart in front of my house in the morning." Bella's shoulders slumped at yet another reminder of her loss.

"I got this B." Emmett turned and addressed the smirking Jane Jackson. "I'll get it to you by 7:30 PM and not one second before as set out in the HOA rules."

Jane narrowed her stony eyes at Emmett, before affixing a fake smile on her face. "Fine, I suppose I can hold off on my neighborhood inspection until then. Don't forget to include all of the accounts and files. I want to get started on putting the neighborhood back onto the right track immediately. Oh, and I'll be closing that ridiculous Facebook group ASAP."

It was a rare morning in Forks. The sun was shining without a cloud in sight. Bella had spent the morning working and was completely caught up. Since losing the responsibilities of governing the HOA, Bella found hours of free time hounding her on a daily basis. Pikachu, padded behind his mom as she searched for something to do. It wasn't until she'd looked at him and asked how long it had been since he'd had a bath that he ran off to hide. He'd had two baths in the last 10 days and was tired of having to work so hard to get his natural smell back only to have it replaced by an unfamiliar flowery smell. There was only so much rolling in the dirt he could do.

"Coward!" Bella yelled at Pikachu's retreating rump. "I'm giving you an hour and then it's bath time."

With Pikachu's bath on hold, Bella was still left without a task. For the second time in a week, she decided to rearrange all of her kitchen cabinets.

"She doesn't look good." Edward followed Emmett's gaze to where Bella was sitting with Rose and Alice. There was a smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes and her laugh had a hollow quality about it. She was clearly just going through the motions.

"She feels as if she's let her grandmother down. A Swan has been the HOA president since the neighborhood was built. She thinks she's failed at upholding the Swan name." Edward remarked solemnly. He understood how she felt. There was a reason he'd moved to his grandmother's house in Forks, rather than live in Port Angeles. After his Spring Break 'freak out', as his mother had dubbed it, he figured out all too quickly that regardless of what he did with his life, there would always be that one episode where he wasn't the perfect son, the one time that they had to answer to the media and detractors for his actions to keep in their pocket and pull out whenever he needed reminding to tow the line. As soon as he'd gotten the acceptance letter to Port Angeles General, he'd moved away from Seattle and two hours away from his parents. While that distance gave him enough breathing room to indulge in riding his motorcycle and meeting Em and Jasper at the local bar for college football Saturdays for beer and chili-cheese fries, it was still close enough for them to keep tabs on his behavior and to question his choices and how they would affect their public standing. When Grandma Platt announced she was moving, reminding him that he was co-owner of her house, he waited for about half a minute before buying her out and moving another hour away from his parents. He loved his parents, and he knew they loved him, but whenever he looked in their eyes there would always be that reminder of that one time he'd let them down. He'd learned to live with and ignore it for the most part, and hoped that with time, Bella would understand that her grandmother loved her for who she was and not because she'd taken her place on the HOA. But first, he'd make sure she never questioned how much he loved her.

"I let her down." Emmett remarked, taking a large swig of beer. "I continually let things get out of hand, even ignored her warnings."

"You can't let it get to you, dude. In the grand scheme of things, this means nothing." Jasper patted Emmett's shoulder before getting up and heading over to the cooler for another beer.

"He doesn't get it. I know you do." Emmett remarked as Edward nodded.

"Yeah, I get it. But he's right. There are more important things to worry about."

"I'm going to make it up to her." Emmett declared.

"You do that big guy."

**June 3****rd**

**Forks Valley Neighbors FB-Private Group**

**EMc2**_**-**__"Since the official FB for the HOA has been closed. I decided to start a new __unofficial__ page so we can keep the fun moving along. What's everyone up to?"_

**JessStanley**_-" EMc2- Mike and I are going to Hawaii in August. I'm soooo excited!"_

**EMc2**_-" JessStanley- WOW! Sounds like a great time. Make sure to post some pics so we can all be jelly."_

**JessStanley**_-"Will do!"_

**CoolGmaCope-**_"Are we having a neighborhood picnic this year? I haven't seen anything and it's usually scheduled for the 10__th__ of June." _

**EMc2**_-"Um, that would be something you'll need to ask the HOA President."_

**CoolGmaCope**_-" EMc2-Jane sucks!"_

**MarcusOrsino**_-" CoolGmaCope-I agree! Did you know she moved all of the HOA insurance from my company to James? _

**PeterBrewer**_-" MarcusOrsino-Was he cheaper?"_

**MarcusOrsino**_-" PeterBrewer-NO!"_

**ChelseaHuffman**_-"Did anyone else get a notice about the garbage can policy?" _

**FBrannon-**_" ChelseaHuffman- What does it say?" _

**DanTextor**_**-**__" FBrannon-Basically, we have until 3 to bring the cans back from the curb or there's a fine."_

**FBrannon**_**-**__"Are you kidding? How the hell is a working person supposed to do that?"_

**DanTextor-**_" FBrannon- Beats me. I'll have to use my lunch hour." _

**GarrettMalone-"**_AND she's instituted a curfew 8:30 for dog walking! She can't do that. Can she?"_

**WolfmanJake-**_"What about the lawn mowing rules? She's put me and Seth out of business!" _

**BenRocs**_-" WolfmanJake- I hadn't heard about this. What's going on?"_

**WolfmanJake**_-" BenRocs-She's decided that since we're under 18 years-old, the HOA shouldn't be officially recommending us. Guess whose company she IS recommending. Her husband's newly formed lawn service!" _

**BenRocs-**_" WolfmanJake-"Bella would NEVER have done that!"_

**CoolGmaCope-**_" WolfmanJake- I can't still use you and Leah?" _

**WolfmanJake-**_" CooGmaCope- You can still use us, but since the HOA doesn't endorse us, they won't put us on the HOA insurance. Our parents are looking into getting a policy tacked onto their homeowner's insurance but that might get expensive and we'll have to raise our rates."_

**JWestbrook-**_" WolfmanJake- I'd rather pay you and Leah double over giving Jane and her drip of a husband one-red cent!"_

**CoolGmaCope-**_ WolfmanJake, JWestbrook- Me too!"_

**LClearwater-**_" JWestbrook, CoolGmaCope- Thank you!"_

**KateSchuster-"**_We need Bella back. Sure she was a stickler for the rules, but she was always fair."_

**BrockJensen-**_"I agree!"_

**FBrannon-**_"Bring Bella back!"_

**JimDiel**_-" KateSchuster- And she NEVER used her position for personal gain. Jane is lining her own pockets through her husband's lawn service. Leah and Jake did a great job! _

**RobertLee**_-" JimDiel- While I prefer to mow my own yard, I understand the outrage. Why run a bunch of teens out of their summer jobs? It seems pretty suspicious that all of a sudden Alec is mowing yards for cash. _

**ShannonSanders-**_"How can we get rid of Jane?"_

**EMc2-**_ "I believe there is an impeachment clause in the HOA rules."_

"What have you done?" Rosalie asked, as Emmett began to laugh maniacally from across the room. His fingers were tapping excitedly on his laptop's keyboard.

Emmett's eyes lit up as his dimples appeared with a crooked grin. "I may have suggested that the neighborhood impeach Jane."

"I'm sorry Marcus, but it's not my call anymore. Yes, I understand that it was a big chunk of your busine-yes, I'm well aware how long you've represented the HOA, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's not my call anymore. I'm sorry, good-bye." Bella hung up her phone and rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. "That's the third call today and the tenth one this week. What do they expect me to do?"

Edward contemplated the woman in front of him. She'd just started to come out of her post-election funk. The two of them were having conversations that didn't center around the length of someone's lawn, or who was complaining about what their neighbor was or wasn't doing. Now that the hospital had finally replaced the two doctors that had left, Edward's work schedule had calmed down and was getting back to normal. The three nights a week that Edward got home early, they stayed at her house, had dinner together and then walked Pikachu, albeit at first against the little dog's will. As his seniority at the hospital finally kicked in, he found himself with weekends off and vacation time to spend.

"We should go on vacation." He stated abruptly, not looking up from his laptop where he was already looking up possible destinations.

"Huh?" Bella's mind was still on her conversation with Marcus.

"Now that you don't have to stay plugged in to every little thing that happens around here, we should get away. Just the two of us. Where have you always wanted to go?"

"Are you serious?" Edward nodded at her surprise.

"What about-"

"What? We have our friends watch the houses, Leah and Jake can mow the lawns. We both have vacation days stacked up like firewood. What's holding us back?"

Bella's nose scrunched up in thought. She hadn't had a vacation since she'd moved to Forks, weekend fishing trips with her father aside. "What about Pika?" Pikachu's ears perked up at the mention of his name. He looked at his mom and then to the tall guy that had been keeping them company. What were they planning? Another bath? Pikachu jumped up and ran out of the room like his tail was on fire.

"I think he'll be fine. Emmett will watch him."

"Okay." Bella said softly. After the conversation with Rose and Alice at the egg hunt, Bella had been more preoccupied with the election than to focus on her and Edward's relationship. But since losing the election, she'd started thinking about it again. Maybe some time away, would open the door to a conversation about their future. Edward watched as a myriad of emotions flashed across Bella's face. One of the things he loved the most about her was how deeply Bella felt her emotions.

"Cookie, what are you thinking?" Edward moved to sit next to her on the couch. She wiggled over, making room for him. Edward threw his arm around her shoulders and tucked her close. Bella sighed in contentment at his side.

"I'm thinking of you on a beach, all wet and tan."

"What? You don't think I'm rocking the vampire pallor?" Edward asked, raising up a pale leg. "I know a lot of women who think the _Casper_ look is sexy." Bella laughed, gently slapping his pale leg.

"Those women better keep their eyes off your sexy, pale ass!"

"Don't worry, Cookie, they can look all they want, I belong to you." Edward assured her, kissing her gently.

"On second thought, maybe we could visit Scotland and Ireland? You can wear your kilts."

* * *

**A/N Well, that happened. I think we all knew that it would, but it still sucks. So, we have two more chapters to go. What do you think of Emmett's plan?**

**Until next time, stay safe.**

**ruinedbyrob**


	11. Chapter-June

**A/N Enjoy!**

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**June**

June 20th

"Happy birthday, dear Edward, Happy birthday to you!" A blush rose to Edward's handsome face as his friends sang to him in his backyard, where Bella had surprised him with a birthday barbeque.

"Thank you!" He said sincerely, as Bella passed out plates laden with cherry chocolate cake. The friends snacked on their cake and settled into easy conversation. Jasper had just fulfilled his obligation from the Valentine's auction and had spent the proceeding Saturday building two end tables for Lauren Mallory with the help of his trusty assistant, Alice.

"You should have seen her face when I bounced through the door. The woman's lips puckered up like she'd just licked a lemon and then stuck her finger into a light socket."

"Babe, I'm not sure it was the best idea to _actually_ ask her if she'd just sucked on a lemon." Jasper remarked. They all laughed as Alice shrugged.

"Anyway, as we were working-"

"Ahem, we?" Jasper interrupted.

"I helped!" Alice frowned, poking Jasper in the side.

"Anyway," Alice said, casting Jasper a side-eyed glance. "While we were there, she got a phone call. Guess who it was." She waited expectedly at the group as they just stared at her.

"Jane!" Alice blurted out. "I could only hear Lauren's side of the conversation, but from what I could understand, there is dissension among the ranks. People are not happy with the way _General Jackson_ is running things and they're starting to revolt. Evidently, Marcus demanded a copy of the HOA insurance policy for review. And Jane refused so he went out and started a petition to demand that she release it."

"Can he do that?" Jasper asked in surprise.

Bella, set her wine glass down and nodded at his question. "Yes, the charter clearly says that any homeowner can request copies of HOA contracts and an accounting of any part of the HOA accounts. I used to give copies out all of the time. It's really not a big deal."

"Apparently it's a big deal if you're hiding something."

"What do you think she's hiding?" Jasper asked while Rose glanced slyly over at the grinning Emmett.

"Oooh, do you think there's more than_ lawn gate_?" Rose answered, lifting a forkful of cake to her red lips.

"I think she's getting a kickback from James for moving the insurance." Emmett chuckled.

"Really? That's criminal." Alice looked practically giddy with the prospect that Jane was on the take.

"Bella, what do you think?"

Bella shook her head, in silent amazement. She'd never come up against something like this. The thought of having to deal with the possibility of a corrupt president was blowing her mind. Edward could see the warring emotions flit across her face and decided to change the subject.

"Bella and I have an announcement," Edward blurted out, taking Bella's hand. She looked up into his handsome face and returned his happy smile.

"You're pregnant!"

"No!" Bella and Edward proclaimed in unison.

"Oh. My. God! Alice, why do you always jump to pregnancy?" Rose smacked a giggling Alice.

"As I was saying," Edward said, casting a stern look in Alice's direction. "Bella and I are going on vacation."

"Seriously? Vacation and Bella? Those things don't go together." Rose smirked.

"Well, they do now." Bella smiled under Edward's gaze. Before meeting him, Rose's statement would have been the truth.

"Where are you going?"

"We're going to start in Scotland and then head to Ireland, from there we'll see."

"How long do you plan to be gone?"

"Ten days." Bella answered with a smile, squeezing Edward's hand.

"That's great! It's about time you took a little time off." Rose said.

"Yeah, it's always been so difficult with taking care of the HOA and everything." Bella commented

"At least there's one good thing about Jane being president."

"For now." Emmett grumbled.

"What do you mean 'for now'?" Jasper asked as everyone turned towards Emmett.

With his dimples on full display, he told them about the Facebook conversation and the impending impeachment vote.

"Well, that didn't take long." Edward commented, searching Bella's face for her reaction.

"Shortest tenure in history." Alice snidely remarked.

"Bella, what do you think?" Emmett asked.

"About what?"

"The possibility of Jane's impeachment." Bella took a deep breath and looked around the table at the people that meant more to her than anything else, especially more than a job. A volunteer one at that.

"I guess that's something we'll deal with if it really happens. Seventy-five percent of homeowners have to vote for removal. It's not a quick dea-"

"-There's already several petitions going around." Emmett interjected.

"Then I guess someone needs to think about running against her." Bella shrugged, before getting up to gather the empty dessert plates and taking them into the kitchen.

"Well, I gotta say, I thought she'd have a different reaction than indifference." Emmett remarked as Alice and Rose nodded in agreement.

"I think she's still absorbing it all." Edward said, before he got up, grabbed the last couple plates and followed Bella into the house.

He set the dishes on the counter and watched her load the dishwasher. She looked up and smiled at him as she rinsed off the silverware. "I don't know what people want me to say."

"I guess they were hoping you would jump at the chance of taking over the HOA again." Bella shut the door to the dishwasher and set the timer. She leaned back against the counter and beckoned him to come forward with her hand. Edward smirked and moved to stand before her. He settled in between her legs, placing his arms on either side of her hips, caging her in. Bella breathed in his scent and circled her arms around his torso.

"What do you think?" She asked, nipping at his chin. Edward moaned at her forwardness and tightened his arms around her.

"I think that's Jane's problem. And it's the very last thing I want to discuss on my birthday." He leaned down sweeping her lips up into a fierce kiss.

"Hey, all you had to do is tell us to leave." Rose commented, from the doorway.

"Woo hoo, time for Edward's birthday sex! Everyone out!" Emmett whooped, making a circle in the air with his finger.

"That's freaking right! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!" Everyone laughed at Edward's announcement as Bella giggled into his chest.

As soon as the last guest left, Edward turned around, and swept Bella up in his arms before heading towards his bedroom, rudely kicking the door shut just as Pikachu rambled after them.

"Good night, Pik." Bella giggled from behind the closed door. Pikachu, huffed and laid down on the cold, bare floor. Not at all happy to not be at home in his comfy bed.

**June 22****nd**

_**Forks Valley Neighbors FB-Private Group**_

**TheREALJackBauer**-"_Hey, guys. Has anyone spoken to Bella about taking over when we impeach Jane?" _

**BenRocs-**_" TheREALJackBauer- Is that a done deal?"_

**MKline**_-" TheREALJackBauer- I hope it's a done deal. I was on vacation for a week. I mowed before I left. When I got back, I found an invoice attached to my door for $75.00. She said my lawn was over the prescribed length so the HOA cut it and then charged me! I was on VACATION!"_

**RileyBiers**_-" MKline- She did the same thing to me when I was on vacation. Only she also trimmed my hedges. The charge was $105.00!" _

**EMc2-**_ "So she's basically only enforcing the things that she can turn around and make money on?"_

**MKline-**_" RileyBiers, EMc2- It appears so. But the President doesn't get to keep that money."_

**EMc2-**_" MKline, she does when it's her husband's business that is doing the work."_

**MNewton-**_" EMc2- What about the money she's been charging for the garbage can infraction? I've gotten hit twice!"_

**EMc2-**_" MNewton-That's a good question!" _

**JessStanley**_**-**__" TheREALJackBauer-When is the vote?"_

**MaggieMay**_-"Did anyone else get the notice about Jane wanting to change the HOA rules about impeachment?_

**ChelseaHuffman-**_" MaggieMay- I got it. Can she do that without a full HOA vote?"_

**PeterBrewer-**"_ ChelseaHuffman- We need to get Bella on this. She'll take care of it."_

**AWeber-**_**"**__ ChelseaHuffman- She always takes care of us."_

**June 25****th**

"You're going to do it right?"

"I don't know what to do. It's been nice not having all of that responsibility. No one griping at me…It's been nice just being Bella Swan, neighbor and girlfriend to _Doctor Green Eyes_." Bella added with a grin.

Rose looked at her friend in the mirror, at first Bella's distress at losing the election could be physically seen on her face. Dark circles under her eyes, a generally depressed look on her face. Now, her eyes were bright and cheerful with no sign of depression. Love, Rose thought. Edward had filled the hole in Bella's heart that she'd been previously ignoring while fulfilling her HOA responsibilities.

The problem was that while as a friend, Rose couldn't be happier for Bella, Rose, the independent real estate agent, needed to have the neighborhood back to running like the well-oiled machine as it had been under Bella's care. Trying to sell a house to a buyer in a neighborhood talking about HOA corruption and impeachment, was not easy.

"Lord, I do not have the body for this!" Bella said, frowning at the skimpy bikini on the hangar before putting it back. Rose walked up and took the hangar back off the rack and shoved it back at Bella.

"This is cute, try it on." Bella grudgingly tucked the tiny suit under her arm.

"Here, try these too." Alice tossed a pair of jean shorts and a tank top into Bella's overflowing arms.

"Guys, we're going to Scotland, not Tahiti. I pretty much need to just pack my regular Forks attire. Jeans, long sleeved shirts and sweatshirts."

"You're taking some cute clothes even if it kills you!" Rose pointed a shiny red-tipped nail at her. Bella rolled her eyes and went into the dressing room, her arms laden with skimpy clothes.

"What do you think she's going to do?" Alice asked, sitting down next to Rose as they waited for Bella.

"If you'd asked me a month ago. I'd say she would've put her pearls back on and would have been tooling around in that golf cart before lunchtime. But now? I honestly don't know."

"What will we do if she doesn't take over?"

"Beats me. Do you want to do it?"

"Okay, and you can be my vice president." Rose and Alice both laughed at the absurdity of her statement. They both knew neither one of them had the temperament or desire to run the HOA. They needed Bella back. They just didn't know exactly how to convince her to do it.

"What do you think?" Bella came out of the dressing room wearing a pair of black jeans and a fitted long-sleeved blue silk blouse.

"Where's the bikini, Swan?"

"Rose, c'mon. It's going to be 60 degrees!"

"If your man is going to saunter around in a kilt with his ghoulies banging around in the wind, you can suck it up and pay him back by wearing a sexy bathing suit."

The girls had a friendly stare down before they started laughing.

"Sixty-degrees? Really?" Bella nodded at Rose.

"Damn. Only you would choose to vacation in frigid temps when you already live in the rain capital of the world. Okay, Victoria's Secrets instead?"

"Deal. 

* * *

**A/N I'll be posting the last chapter tomorrow. **

**As always, thank you for reading. **

**~ruinedbyrob**


	12. Chapter 12

**As promised, the last chapter.  
I'm grateful to all of you for reading. Your kind words and support has been a ray of sunshine in these stormy days. I truly appreciate your support. **

**I couldn't do this on my own. I owe so much to my team, Edwardsfirstkiss, Sazzledazzled and Twi2escape, for lending their talents and time to my stories. You guys all rock!**

**SM owes everything Twilight, but this kilt wearing Edward is mine. Mine! All Mine!**

* * *

**A Year in the Life of HOA President, Bella Swan**

**July**

**July 1****st****. **

"Cookie, you need to make a decision." Edward rubbed her shoulders, trying to ease the tension in her body. The impeachment of Jane Jackson had just ended. Actually, it pretty much ended before it even started. Surprisingly, it was Alec who had ultimately sunk his wife's ship. When a little bit of pressure was applied, he'd come clean about the insurance. It turned out; Jane _was_ getting a five percent cut of the total insurance premium. He'd also admitted that he wasn't keen on mowing lawns and the whole thing had been cooked up just as a way to force the neighborhood to use his service and keep all of the money.

The vote had been quick and decisive. The HOA had voted by a landslide for impeachment. Jane hadn't even stuck around for the vote. Once Alec started spilling his guts, Jane had flounced out of the HOA community room without so much as a "screw you" to the assembled crowd. The dust hadn't settled from her abrupt retreat when the gathered crowd had unanimously voted to reinstate Bella.

"Isn't this great? The wicked witch is gone and President Swan is back in charge!" Emmett gushed, plopping down in the chat next to the shell-shocked brunette.

"Emmett, she hasn't accepted yet." Edward reminded his exuberant friend while keeping a keen eye on the silent woman leaning heavily into his chest. He could feel her breathing deeply as she contemplated what to do.

"But she's going to accept, right?" Edward shrugged and continued to rub Bella's shoulders.

"Wait, Bella, you have to say yes. We need you," Emmett proclaimed, leaning forward in his chair so he could look into her eyes. "You understand how much we need you. Don't you?"

Bella looked at her friend and then looked around the room. The community hall was packed. More people had attended Jane's impeachment hearing than had ever attended a normal meeting. Twenty-two homeowners had stood up to bear witness against Jane. More than had ever bothered to speak at any meeting before. As they stood up to list their grievances, they'd also talked about how much better things were when Bella had been in charge. Some had gone on to say how much they appreciated the efforts she and Emmett had gone to the past year to schedule community events. Mrs. Cope had looked at her with caring eyes and had said she knew Bella's grandma would have been extremely proud of her for making their community such a wonderful place to live. Seth, Jake, Leah and Emily had stood up in front of the room and had thanked her for always looking out for them and making them feel part of the community, not just the kids of the homeowners.

Overcome with emotion, Bella remembered last July fourth, and how she'd felt walking past all of the happy families. She'd felt completely left out and ignored. Now she was being hailed as someone they all liked and revered. Was it really her they wanted back in charge or was it just that they wanted Jane gone?

"What do you think I should do?" Bella asked Edward. She knew that whatever decision she made it would have to include him.

Edward moved to crouch in front of her. "I don't want to be that _uptight_ Bella again." She said softly, remembering how he'd hated that version of her.

He gently caressed her cheek bone, losing himself in her dark eyes as he remembered the events that had caused him to call her uptight. "Cookie, you aren't that person anymore. And you don't have to be again, even if you take over. I'll support you no matter what your decision is, I'm not going anywhere." Edward was confident _that _Bella would not return, except for private appearances, in their bedroom.

He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching, he could feel her relax at the contact.

"Okay. I'll do it." She said definitively.

Edward leaned back. "Say it again so they can hear you." Bella let out a deep breath and stood up to address her neighbors and friends.

"Okay, I'll do it but there are going to be some changes."

July, 3rd.

"Do you want to grab a couple of waters before we board?" Bella nodded, taking Edward's offered hand.

"Good grief! Can you believe $5.00 for water?" Edward groused, setting two bottles up on the counter and getting his wallet out.

"Um…" Bella grinned, setting a packet of Hot Tamales, peanut M&Ms and a chocolate-chip muffin next to the bottles of water.

Edward shook his head and handed over his Amex card to the clerk. "That's not a very nutritious breakfast."

"Breakfast is whatever_ I_ decide it is." Bella shrugged, grabbing the Hot Tamales, pouring several in her hand and popping them in her mouth with a cheeky grin.

Stocked with snacks for the first leg of their trip, they walked over to the gate and waited to board their flight.

Edward took out his phone and quickly scanned his email, answering a few from the doctors that were covering his patients while Bella pulled out a new paperback. She no longer hid the covers of what she was reading. Edward had showed her that it didn't matter what other people thought as long as she was happy. And right now reading about a certain mind reading, vegetarian vampire and his human girlfriend, made her happy.

She'd just gotten to the part where the gorgeous yet broody boy had revealed his true nature to the human girl when the chorus of "Hail Columbia", began playing from the depths of her purse. Groaning, Bella stashed her book and dug out her phone. Edward chuckled beside her when he heard the official song of the American Vice President ring out. That song meant one thing, Emmett was calling.

"Hello, Emmett. No, not yet, but anytime, so hurry-what? No, you cannot paint the HOA hall pink. Why would you want to do that? I don't care that it's Rose's new favorite color." Edward nudged her to indicate they needed to get in line to board. Bella grabbed her things and followed him to the gate, phone still in hand.

"The check is already made out; all you have to do is drop it off at Marcus's office. Yes, that one. Well, you know where the rule book is, talk to both of them and figure it out," she said before covering the mouthpiece to answer Edward's questioning look, "Mrs. Cope and Mr. Bauer are fighting over the height of their shared hedges." He chuckled and gently urged her forward in the line.

"I don't care what Pik tries to tell you, don't give him cheese! He's lactose intolerant. No, he does not need soy cheese. In fact, don't feed him any _people_ food. Is that screaming? Oh my God! What's happening? How many eggs did he run over? Emmett? Emmett?" Bella looked up in alarm as Edward grabbed her phone and turned it off, before shoving it back into her bag.

"Let your Vice President handle it." Edward ordered, kissing her lightly on the lips. "You're off duty, right?"

"Right." Bella agreed quickly, taking Edward's hand.

Edward handed their tickets to the attendant. She smiled at the handsome couple as she quickly scanned their boarding passes.

"What a lovely couple," she remarked, "Are you on your honeymoon?"

Edward raised their entwined hands to place a sweet kiss on Bella's knuckles. His eyes filled with love as he answered, "No, but maybe next year."

* * *

**A/N**

I'm marking this story as complete. But I can see posting an outtake or two in the future. If you love these two as much as I do, hit alert, just in case.

Thank you for reading!

ruinedbyrob


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